Halloween

It may have come to your attention that tomorrow is that crazy ass sugar-fueled holiday known as Halloween. We fully intend to take part since we are lucky enough to live in a neighborhood that is awesome for trick-or-treating and because, of course, I finally have a child to TAKE trick-or-treating. I fully intend for Tori to keep me stocked in candy for quite a while (what, I should let her eat it?). Heh.

I successfully beat down all of my impulses to dress Tori like a little princess (a daily battle, I assure you) and Charlie and I settled on this costume. It's adorable, seasonably appropriate, and (god forgive me) wholesome. Unless you think chocolate is evil, in which case we can no longer be friends.

Back in my single days, when I bothered to get dressed up for Halloween (ok, and even for a while after I wasn't single anymore), I had only one costume--something slutty in black. Witch, vampire, whatever--as long as I could wear dark lipstick, too much eyeliner, and show a ton of cleavage, I was happy. I loved having an excuse to put my junk all out there.

But I was in my twenties when I did that. Even in high school, I managed to keep my costumes low on the slut-o-meter.

But these days, costumes for girls have gotten out of hand. Mothertalkers recently had an entry where they discussed this. Have you seen these costumes? Like this one? Or this one? Does anyone seriously think it's a good fucking idea to dress a PRETEEN as a FRENCH MAID?

Mothertalkers links to this article in Newsweek that discusses the fact that the "sexy" costumes are being targeted to younger and younger girls. Even the firefighter costume comes with fishnets, apparently.

Holy fucking cow.

We at a weird place culturally. We are hypervigilant about pedophilia, even possibly fetishizing it in the media (seriously, doesn't anyone else find this television show kind of gross?). Don't get me wrong--I have no desire to return to the days when children who are victimized are told to be ashamed. I prefer our more honest society. But the idea of a bunch of TV producers sitting around a computer monitor pretending to be 14-year-old girls to lure older men to them for entertainment purposes seems... I don't know. Wrong, bizarre, and shameful.

But what is even stranger is that right when we are telling men that being attracted to young women is disgusting and criminal, consumer culture is telling us to dress our young girls more like adult women. So we dress up our 'tweens as college girls, and then punish men for thinking it's sexy. It's some sort of freakish disconnect.

It frightens me that Sarah's daughter, who is already taller than I am at 11 years old, has costumes like those to choose from. And looking at those costumes, it feels like girls are getting to spend less and less time being GIRLS and having to jump into being women that much earlier.

When I was ten years old, I was so completely unaware of myself as being anything other than a kid. It wasn't until I was 12 or so that the pressures to do things like wear makeup and put on disco-style dresses  with side slits (hey, it was the late 70's when I was 12) happened--and even that seems kind of young. Are girls today sneaking makeup on the school bus (ahem) at ten? Eight?

I find this all so frustrating. How am I going to raise Tori and allow her to spend a nice, long period of her life just being a kid instead of being a girl? Am I already starting this process when I buy her the jeans that have a flare at the cuff?

Ug. This is a tough time to raise a daughter in America, isn't it?

Comments

[Dea]

1.

hmm when you figure it out, let us know. Right now I'm brewing a little girl, but I have her all safe until the middle of Feb. then golly, I'm lost.

[Jen (yup, another one)]

2.

It's School Picture day here at the elementary school where I teach, and I was thinking similar things as I saw several girls in a second grade class wearing STOCKINGS and HEELS. The one child wearing tights stuck out like a sore thumb, yet she was the only one who was dressed like the little girl she was. One of the other girls may have had makeup on, too. It was so sad, especially knowing that the parents bought those clothes and approved of the outfit since it was for picture day.

[camille]

3.

When I took my 13 year old daughter costume shopping we settled on a referree outfit with a dress and kneehigh socks. I ignored the whore in the picture that had EEE boobs and legs a mile long. I knew it wouldn't look the same on my 5'2 A cup daughter. Sure enough, looked cute with a tank top underneath and long black leggings too. Wasn't until we were driving home that we thought - OH HELL, WHAT WAS THAT NUMBER ON THAT OUTFIT'S POCKET????? Yep folks, 69. So... we got home I blacked out the numbers and sewed a batch over top of the numbers. We ended up with a cute costume but what a pain in the ass to get it from trampy to cute. Sheesh.

[Julie]

4.

I couldn't agree with you more. I have 2 girls, ages 6 and 4. Trying to find modest clothes and swimwear is a nightmare. *sigh* I always end up buying shirts 2 or 3 sizes too big, so that they come down past their belly buttons, and aren't skin tight. And the pants!... Please someone, tell me where I can buy pants that come up high enough. Everytime my 4 year old bends over, we get a serious case of plumber butt. :(

5.

I could have written Julie's comment myself. My 4- and 5-year-old daughters are dressing as a ladybug and a pink poodle, in Old Navy fleece toddler costumes that are just a tiny bit too short on both, because the costumes everywhere else (at least the ones affordable enough) were so freaking trashy. One of my girls dressed as Jasmine (from Aladdin) last year and I made her wear a long-sleeve t-shirt under her Jasmine belly shirt. She looked ridiculous but so was the costume!

I seriously need to learn how to use my sewing machine and start making some appropriate clothing for my girls.

[Candy]

6.

It certainly is hard, if nigh on impossible, to raise a daughter in this society.

I was out yesterday afternoon trying to get my daughter a costume, because we just hadn't had time. I was taking pics of costumes with my phone and sending them to her. She's 17, overweight, and very self-conscious of it.

She said: "Mom, what do they have that's not too slutty?"

I spent 20 minutes looking through the store and replied: "Nothing. Not one costume."

She settled on cat ears and a tail, and will paint whiskers on her face. Again. For the 5th year in a row.

(Please don't ask me why a 17 year old even needs a costume. Mine is not to wonder why...)

[Jan]

7.

Children's Place has cute stuff that is actually, you know, FOR CHILDREN. But it gets harder and harder to find.

I'm driven as crazy by the constant character bombardment as by the "juicy" pants for toddlers.

I love me some Halloween, in large part because I'm crafty (heh, first time I typed that, it came out 'crazy') and it's fun for me to make the costumes. I figure that'll give me a little more control over it for awhile. For now my 3 year old girl is still content to be Oscar the Grouch for Halloween, and we've got her little brother (almost 2) decked out as Slimey.

[Brandy]

8.

I just read that article yesterday and was disgusted. I can't even begin to imagine dressing a little girl up like that. I have a baby boy (who is going to be Charlie Brown - unbeknownst to him of course, he's not quite 8 months old) and am glad I don't yet have a girl to worry about.

I know if I ever had a daughter I will have to fight this everyday. I am a very modest person and through my religion we also choose to be modest and wear certain clothing. When I look at little girl's clothes now I just think how trampy everything looks. How sad.

[Dana]

9.

I personally think that the first and foremost thing to remember is who the parent(s) is/are - in my case, ME. *I* decide what my little girl wears or doesn't wear. If I don't like the "girly" jeans or tops, I head to the boy's section of the store. If I don't like the "slutty" girl costumes, I head to the boy costumes. OR I head to the thrift store - for either dilemma.

Nothing is a 'situation' unless you let it be one. I made it through childhood and puberty and adolesence and all that just fine WITHOUT all the Jordace jeans, Nike shoes and other name brand crap that was so 'important' in the late 70's and early 80's. Why? Because my mother said "no" and I never questioned her. I may be crazy, but I expect my children to do the same and thus far, they do. I know I'll have some fights on my hands as they get older, but I'd rather that than the alternative.

Oh, and my son is a cowboy this Halloween - jeans, boots, shirt with fringe, vest with fringe, hat (everything but the hat came from the thrift store, btw) and NO gun. How about that. And my daughter is a flower, because Dora the Explorer was a flower in a book we read - costume courtesy of a kid's clothing resale shop.

Cecily, if your blog is any indication, your daughter will grow up just fine, because you are her mother. Regardless of anyone, or anything, else.

And I love chocolate :)

[bluegirl]

10.

i'm 28, and when i was in elementary school every girl i knew dressed up as julia roberts from pretty woman at least one time for halloween. that is, not a sexy cheerleader or a naughty nurse, a prostitute. i don't know what other parents thought of it, but i know my (extremely laid back and savvy) mom thought it was hilarious.
we were 9 or 10 or 11, we had seen our older brothers' playboys and knew what sex was, but had no real understanding that we were dressing as anything more than someone so BEAUTIFUL and seductive she could make richard gere fall in love with her. i doubt that most of the preteens/tweens who are choosing these costumes see themselves as highly sexualized as we do.

also, i find it interesting that most of the sexy adult costumes you see on commercial costume sites include petticoats, knee socks, ruffled panties-- all hallmarks of adolescence or girlhood. it's like regardless of age, we're all trying to look ~15 :)

i think there's a safe middle ground for young girls between cute and sexy-- if they want to look pretty but not slutty, what about a 40's pinup, audrey hepburn, or marilyn monroe? they're beautiful and iconic-- and are still seductive-- but don't necessarily show a lot of skin. (i know my references are dated, but i'm honestly having a hard time thinking of modern beauties/icons who are recognizable but not mostly unclothed. maybe gwen stefani?)

i think halloween affords concerned parents a great opportunity to discuss sexuality with their kids, not to mention spark their creativity. if storebought costumes are too revealing or too far from their/your comfort zone, what a great chance to try something new and make your own! i've always found halloween to be a great creative outlet-- this year i am a LOLcat (www.icanhascheezburger.com)-- couldn't find that in stores :)

[thrice]

11.

yes, or how do we raise our sons not objectify girls and women? It's tough, but I'm determined to raise my sons to respect women. And, it's one of the reasons that I'll have to leave my husband.

[Janet]

12.

As the mother of 3 girls (4yo, 2yo and 9mo), I am dreading the coming years! It's not just the USA where this trend is occurring - the UK and Australia are also up there. You can't get away from it! Someone even pointed out the other day that one of the children's shoe stores here in Australia was selling sandals with a 1-inch+ heel in TODDLER sizes.

I remember my mother being very strict about what I wore, and me hating it! And here I am planning to be just like that with my own girls...now I see where she was coming from.

Long live childhood!

[Sarah]

13.

It is scary, but not impossible. Thank God my daughter isn't interested in looking like a skank. She looked SO sweet and nice for her school dance Friday night.
Yes, she wore stockings and low heels, but still respectable.

I know Tori won't fall into the mass mentality because she has you and Charlie as parents.

[Ashley]

14.

bluegirl: (disclaimer: 23 and childless) I've noticed for awhile that our ideal is essentially the 15 year old girl. I believe the big cause behind the "obesity epidemic" (which doesn't exist...at a size 8-10 I'm almost obese, and it's people like me who are messing up those statistics) is that we believe 16 year old girls are the pinnacle of womanhood. People seem to think that all women can stay that size, and if they aren't, well, it's their fault. There's a reason why your average 30 year old doesn't look like your average 16 year old, and it's not having children. Our hormones change, and suddenly boobs and hips grow; it's a second puberty! I should know, I just went through it....

Also, there's always gory costumes for older kids. I was things like a headless person, a zombie, a vampire, etc. when I was a preteen/teenager. I had a lot of fun with those costumes, and still pick creepy/gory stuff for Halloween.

Oh, and just because a costume shows skin doesn't mean it's trying to be sexy. I'm a huge Rent fan, and junior year of high school I dressed up as Angel, who just so happens to be a drag queen. There's no way to pull of drag queen when you're a female without looking like a whore, and so I wore a short skirt and colorful wig, etc. But I looked like Angel, damnit, and it was an awesome costume.

I think the intention is important, and those costumes are clearly trying to be sexy, and therefore wrong.

[melissa Gaul]

15.

I have no idea how to raise a daughter in this society, and I'm raising 2. My 13-year-old, bless her heart, is anti-makeup. She wears clothes that she likes and is comfortable in. Last year she dressed as Mario (Video Game character Mario, yes). This year, its Jamie from Mythbusters. (Don't ask how this happened. I have no clue - but I am sitting here at work in a t-shirt and jeans, no makeup, and comfy shoes :-) )

My younger, 5, is going as Princess Leia. (It was either that or a Power Ranger). She's the one I worry about more, because she already loves to shop, especially for shoes, and is more influenced by people around her. She has more of a need to be social and accepted than her older sister.

[Tiffany]

16.

I have to admit that my daughter is the one in the princess outfit!! Actually this year she is going to be a pumpkin. I tried to recycle last years outfit but could not find it so I ran to Walmart (small town and only place to buy a custom on short notice) and all we could find is the pumpkin - I hope it fits! I can't wait to see pictures of Tori as a Hersey Kiss - that is tooo cute - almost as cute as a little princess! LOL

17.

Tori will look adorable as a Hershey Kiss! My little one is dressing as a monkey but won't be trick or treating this year since he is too young.
BTW..25 years ago I went trick or treating as a french maid.

[jeanie]

18.

Its all over the western world, unfortunately!

Yesterday at Girl Guides we had 20 girls dressed up - 18 as witches, 1 vampire and a fairy (we don't do Halloween very well here!)

[ASM]

19.

What I don't understand is the increasing absence of outfits for little girls that don't just look like miniaturized women's outfits. I remember when I loved to dress in little-girl dresses. I don't know that I could have FOUND an outfit that was more appropriate for my mother if I'd tried (this might be nostalgia/ignorance/faulty memory on my part). I remember when I first fit into a ladies' size 5 shoe for the first time, and had to BEG to wear shoes with a 1 1/4" heel.... along with my white little-girl stockings, calf-length little-girl dress, and an undershirt beneath it all, of course. I was ten. It was 1987.

Times sure have changed.....

[Shara]

20.

I totally agree about sexing up the little girls - it's way too much too young. What happened to plain old t-shirts and jeans without all the low cut necks, ruched fronts, flares, and tight fit?

I'm also laughing so hard right now because the only one of my friends to dress as a french maid when we were preteens was a boy - he put on false eyelashes, a wig, fake boobs, stockings and heels - the works. Looked awesome and we're still making fun of him 15+ years later.

[Eva]

21.

I agree that the commercial costumes are crazily inappropriate, and I think it's just horrible that apparently there's a big market for them. What are those parents, who are the ones paying, thinking? That said, I have never worn nor bought a pre-made costume. I actually was unaware until I had a child that this was the norm nowadays. We always just whipped something up from stuff around the house, and so far that's what I've done with my child. This way it's really easy to avoid this problem!

[revdrmom]

22.

Whatever happened to witches and gypsies and ghosts and cartoon characters and robots and Star Wars and Harry Potter? Ack. I'm glad my daughters are grown.

And I think Tori's costume is precious.

[bh]

23.

I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of Tori in her totally appropriate, wholesome, Hershey Kiss costume! I'm glad I had boys and they are several years past my having to make these tough decisions! But I do remember those fun trick or treat nights!!!!! And enjoy all that candy!

[Michelle]

24.

Check this out: http://www.spirithalloween.com/Girls-Costumes_Classic-Costumes/Purrty-Kitty-Child-Costume

I had to veto it for my SIX YEAR OLD (it is a "pretty kitty" costume - a strapless pink furry mini dress!) You will notice it starts in size 4-6! They had no normal cute cat costumes past toddler size, after that they were all "sexy".

It kind of sickens me - who buys this crap for little girls? Can't we all agree not to buy these costumes and maybe they will stop selling them?

[Susie]

25.

For the past two years, my kids have wanted to dress up together. Last year, they were the king and queen from a chess set. (Weird, I know...) This year, my 8-year-old son wanted to be a mad scientist with his little sister as his potion. She nixed that. His next idea was that he be Albert Einstein and she be the theory of relativity. I kid you not. Anyway, she shot that down, too. She's had the same idea since August for her costume: a purple sea star. (They're not called starfish anymore because they're not FISH! Ahem.) I'm proud of her creativity, but damn, that was a serious pain in the ass to make. I'm grateful, though, that she hasn't yet fallen prey to the Disney Princess Empire.

[Melissa]

26.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one flabbergasted by the costumes this year. I saw a preschooler dressed in a wench outfit (pirate theme, I would guess) at a school function last week. I wanted to ask her mom 'really?'

What is with the preoccupation to make our kids grow up fast? Personally, I don't want my 5 year old to look sexy (that is just so wrong to have all of those words in one sentence.)

This year Hope will be a ballerina butterfly. Girly but not slutty. How long do you think that will last?

[Rosemary Grace]

27.

Tori's costume is ADORABLE.

I was one of a few non-overtly-sexy costume at the party I went to last weekend. We had Barbarella, a sexy fairy and a sexy diner waitress, and me in US Navy coveralls and a polkadot headband as Rosie the Riveter. I was comfy! So were the women who came as a squid, and a persistant yeast infection...

[Elise]

28.

When I was a kid, we made all our Halloween costumes. My parents never bought me any costume, ever. I am kind of shocked by all the prefab costumes nowadays. We made such cool costumes - one year my sister was a butterfly and I was a die! (It was tough though because everyone was like, "Oh you're a dice," and I was like, "Uh, dice is plural. I'm a die." Yes, I am a nerd.) I just think people could stand to remember what it's like to be a little creative.

[Sherry]

29.

I completely agree about the halloween costumes. Gross, gross and GROSS. Can't stand it for my kids, but if other parents want to buy them for theirs, hey, whatever.

What got me about your post, more so than the costumes, was your comments about the To Catch a Predator shows on NBC. Certainly, they're not meant to be entertaining. And, it's trained volunteers from a separate organization (Perverted Justice), not producers that pose as young children on the internet. I doubt they're doing it for kicks. I know you realize that, but being a victim of sexual abuse at a young age myself, now raising children of my own, anything that can save even one child from enduring the lifetime of hell that I did is well worth it no matter how slimy it may seem on the surface.

[Miss W]

30.

I'm the mother of a son so thankfully I don't have to fight this particular battle -- but I empathize! I wanted to dress up with my son this year (he and his dad are both going to be pirates) but I couldn't find a single costume that wasn't trampy. And then I looked at the costumes for little girls...and then the girls clothing in general. Damn. What the hell is WRONG with our society??? (I've been saying this since little girls started dressing like Britney in her oops I did it again days; And, I suppose my mother was saying it during my younger days when Madonna and Cyndi Lauper were my fashion role models)

[R]

31.

it's scary, huh. I think you're absolutely correct that there's a relationship between our obsession with predators and dressing our little girls so sexily. We really have a messed up attitude about sex in this country, and all those gay senators, etc. are part of it too.

My mom was super-protective of my innocence when I was growing up...she wouldn't let me watch PG-13 movies when I was 12, that kind of thing. She would never have allowed me to wear half the absurd outfits I see young girls in these days. I hated it at the time but it really did let me go around in a kind of happy obliviousness for many years, and I am so grateful now. We have our whole lives to be adults...it's a fight to let kids just be kids, but it's a worthwhile one from where I sit. (Man, my kids are going to hate me!)

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

32.

A friend of mine once commented that "All 14 year old girls want to look like 40 year old clapped-out hookers," and I've always remembered that quote since I thought she hit the nail on the head! (And of course that included me back when I was 14! LOL!) But now it seems that 10 year olds want to look that way too, and the parents think it's just fine. Yikes. I'm just as glad I'm raising boys -- although I can see concerns in the future, teaching them NOT to accept everything that these girls who have no pride of self want to offer them... sigh. (A real danger -- the young adult son of a friend of mine ended up in prison for two years when a teen girl threw herself at him and he was too stupid to say, "No thanks," or at least check her ID. But aside from his personal idiocy, he was just doing what our culture tells boys and men to do -- to take what is offered to them.)

Tori is lucky to have you for a mom. :)

[michelle]

33.

i'm glad i'm not the only one flabbergasted with the selection (and lack thereof) of wholesome costumes..and it doesn't end there...i'm ticked off by the slutty clothes they have for little girls nowadays...i saw outfits in size 2T that i wouldn't wear, let alone allow my daughter to wear! it's no wonder i always end up going to the boys' clothes section each and every time i go shopping for my little girl

[Megan]

34.

I'll speak up for the Disney "empire" here -- I was shopping for a costume, and everything they had (with, depending on your taste, the exception of the Jasmine costume) was age-appropriate yet cute. I found my costume there -- I couldn't find anything that covered enough skin anywhere else.

[Amie]

35.

I'm amazed at the shit they have out there for preteens and even younger...I see girls that age all the time wearing jogging pants with words on the ass of them and it just amazes me that parents would even CONTEMPLATE letting their daughters wear something like that!!

When I was 10 years old I was wearing sweaters with pictures of cats on them *rolls eyes*. I can't believe how much our culture has changed in even 15 years. It's really sad....

[Amie]

36.

Oh and for Halloween, I was Pippy Longstockings or an M&M....not a FRENCH MAID!!!!

[ls]

37.

It is interesting that the trashy costume has gotten so much press this year (with little mention of the violent ones for boys) but doesn't anyone remember the days when we made our own costumes? And they were lame, but also lots of fun? Creative, different from anyone else, etc.? What happened to that expectation? My own daughter is allowed to only be animals from nature: last year a squirrel, this year an owl. Pottery Barn makes really good costumes that are usually animals, modest, etc. They are frighteningly expensive...except for now, since they are on sale. Buy for next year. Worth it. To the mother wanting to know where to buy modest pants etc. for her daughters, try Lands End, LL Bean, and Hanna Andersson. Buy off season for sales.And when you see clothes that are really inappropriate, complain about them to the manager!! Say something, people!!

[Catherine]

38.

Let me tell you something...last year I wanted to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. And *I* couldn't even find a non-slutty Dorothy! I had to go to FOUR costume stores before I found a regular Dorothy. And I'm 35!

39.

My brother has commented on this trend -- he has a 12-year-old. He calls the stuff "slutwear." She was still pretty naive and childish at 11 last year when I saw her, preferring stuffed animals (her favorite was a stuffed gecko -- yes, gecko -- the kid rocks!), but that's because her parents were vigilant from early on. I can remember them "disappearing" a Christmas present from a clueless relative when she was eight -- it was a "mix your own makeup" kit. This year, she's going as a nerd for Halloween, complete with taped glasses. Hey, she's dressing the way her aunt ALWAYS did!

The moral is: it's possible to raise a good, un-slutty kid. Not easy, but possible.

[Elaine]

40.

Uh, that last one was mine. Sorry, brain death has kicked in. I forgot lots of stuff at work today too!

[Robin]

41.

OMG! did you SEE the BRATZ Cowgirl one? Read the description, too!

http://www.spirithalloween.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/products.detail/categoryID/2A55AD95-BC3D-42C8-84E9-53D8F3128FA0/productID/6E9E2A50-6D1F-4DE4-AEF6-4C78BEA697DE?loomia_si=1

All that being said, my husband and I decided on a snow day target shopping trip when my first girl was still fairly little, that anything that I thought was really stupid as a child was just right for our girls now. I hated Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobby. But, that kind of wholesomeness is exactly what I want my girls playing with today. And speaking of Bratz, I really don't know how these things are allowed to stay on the market. I just can't see buying this stuff for my daughter and saying "isn't that cute?" Also, another one that took me by suprise is the new Tinker Bell stuff. I picked up a coloring book thinking it would be cute. But it had her in kinda seductive poses with a come hither look on her face. I had to tear out the pages. Even though the context would probably go right over my daughter's head. I just don't think a 3 year needs exposure to that sort of stuff.

[Jennifer]

42.

I worry about this all the time. I taught 3rd and 4th grade for awhile (8 and 9 year olds) and the stuff their parents let them do blew my mind! (even at 22, when I first started teaching). My daughter is 10 months old and will never have a BRATZ doll. Sheesh...and I thought Barbie was bad. Can we not tell little girls that they have to 5'11 and a size 2 to be beautiful?

[Michelle]

43.

I totally agree. While shopping for a costume for my four year old I came accross slutty costumes in her size. I am disgusted. It really is hard to raise a daughter now!

[Ellen]

44.

Yeah, it's really alarming - the slutty costumes for girls and the hyper-violent ones for boys. (Maybe I'm nuts, but pirates and knights and ghosts seem much less alarming than 5 year olds dressed up as the serial killers from Scream and Saw - mosty because you can see pirates and knights in a childish context, whereas there's no benign reason to know about Jigsaw.) Maybe all the publicity this year will help.

I just came from my son's preschool Halloween parade, and I'm happy to say there weren't any inappropriate costumes. Deedee Doodle might have been the closest, in that the skirt is short, but no shorter than Madeline's, and that was clearly a normal little girl costume.

Bluegirl, I have to know - how are you dressing up as a LOLcat? That's almost as awesome as Susie's son wanting to dress his sister up as the theory of relativity. Don't know how you'd do either one, but they're awesome ideas.

[Ellen]

45.

Oh, I forgot. I was at my brother's house recently, and my 7 year old niece's best friend was there as well. Wearing, I kid you not, four inch platform wedge sandals. She actually turned her ankle while playing - of course she did! There are plenty of fashionable clothes (and shoes) that are adorable AND age appropriate. I can't believe that people would make shoes like that in child's sizes, let alone that parents would buy them.

[kheatherg]

46.

My girls are not, nor will they ever be hoochies. They arent allowed to wear that shit and the day they think they can change AFTER they leave the house is a day they wont forget. (Like mother like daughter..LOL)

We dont play into that hoochie-wear so my girls have never really been into wearing it. On occasion my husband will tell our 13 year old to pull down her skirt and cover her ass or he will stand her in the middle of the road naked so the whole neighborhood can see her bare butt and she will usually laugh and pull it down, but Cec, I'm telling you, you have to stay on them!

For Halloween, our 13 year old is pippy longstocking, our 11 year old is a witch and our 9 year old is glenda the good witch. Our little boy is a transformer. LOL

[Chickenpig]

47.

Creepy, creepy, and yet again, creepy. It makes me very happy right now that I have boys. I have nieces, however, who are 13 and 12, and the thought of them wearing this stuff makes me feel ill. They both started their periods very young, as well as breast development, which makes me concerned about all kinds of things...hormones in food, the quality of their sexual education, female cancers...the whole nine yards. Both of them are also unbelievably tall, which forced me into buying them women and juniors clothes as gifts when they were still only 11 and 10, and all the stuff looks like Ho wear to me. I don't envy you parents of girls, one bit. (wonderful choice of costume, though, btw) As a mom of boys though, I find the double standard on sexual molestation very creepy. Why do ppl, especially guys, think it's cool when a teacher gets knocked up by a 13 boy, but if a male teacher knocks up a girl, or molests a boy for that matter, he should be stoned to death? There is more than one creepy form of molestation out there, but none of them TV show worthy.

[Ruth]

48.

Halloween costumes ... ugh. My 11 year old daughter wanted to be a gypsy this year, and I was thrilled, because she usually picks things that I have to sew, and because we have a 7-week-old I wanted to buy her costume this year. I didn't think it would be IMPOSSIBLE to find a gypsy costume that didn't look like a medieval hooker. So I ended up sewing her costume anyway.

I think part of the problem is that there used to be (or at least I remember there being, when I was a kid) a line between adulthood and childhood, and there were things that were appropriate on either side of that line and things that were not. I don't know why that line seems to be disappearing in so many homes, but it is.

[Essie]

49.

That Hershey's Kiss costume is so precious! I have 3 school age nieces and I know it's a challenge for my sister and sister in law to dress them appropriately. When I see skirts longer than 4 inches I snap them up for the girls.

[Julie]

50.

Tori's costume is so cute! Hope to see pics of her in it! I never had to worry about the costume thing because my step-daughters pretty well liked the "little kid" costumes. Now that they are older (11 & 13) I am more vigilant, that's for sure. K this year is an East High Cheerleader (from High School Musical) and the costume is actually very appropriate - I was a bit shocked - I thought I would have to put her in some leggings in order to keep her from giving people a view if she bent over, but it goes down to her knees and does not cut low in the chest. Yay for appropriate!

[Rhonda]

51.

I love, love, LOVE the Hershey's Kiss costume. And I hate, hate, hate what they've got in the stores today for girls to wear.

Back in February, I had to buy a dress for my daughter to wear to a March wedding. Too early for most of the little stores (e.g. Children's Place, Gymboree) to have cute Easter dresses, but I remembered from years past that JC Penney's had some really adorable ones that were reasonably priced.

Alas, our local JCP only had them for up to 6x. My daughter was a size 8-ish, which meant she had to shop in the 7-16 department. 7-16!!! Why such a huge range? Why are they lumping cute little first graders in with preteens?

(I did find her a nifty little tweed suit in lilac--still more "grownup" than I'd hoped for, but in a good way. But oh, I really did want a sweet organdy dress for her like she'd had when she was 5...)

And yes, Halloween costumes take this to an extreme. Not to mention that the little costumes guarantee that you're gonna get in an argument in most parts of the states, because the kids are gonna freeze their little butts off if they don't wear a coat over their costume!

So we shop at Gymboree. It's stupid expensive unless you wait 'til things go on sale, but by and large they design clothes for *kids*. (Alas, no dressing rooms, which is dumb when you're shopping for kids over 3yrs)

And I made my daughter's costume this year. (I'm no seamstress by any means, but I got it together just this once) She's a snow fairy (her idea), with a poofy circle skirt that comes down to ankle length, and a hooded poncho that she can wear *over* her winter coat. And a glittery snowflake wand, of course. Fancy-shmancy, yet modest and warm (and easy shapes to sew, too!).

And aside to Julie: Plumber Butt might be part of the territory. Even when my daughter's pants aren't low in the rise, she's got no hips yet, so everything slides down a little too much.

Also, I dunno about your child, but my daughter grows in the middle before her legs get longer (she gets plump, then she gets long-waisted, then she shoots up and evens out). This means that reasonable pants start getting a little low in the rise before they become high-waters. Very frustrating!

[Hanlie]

52.

Even here in South Africa the clothes young girls wear are no longer girlish, but provocative. And we have a major problem with rape of young girls... even toddlers, I'm ashamed to say.

[melissa]

53.

I am happy to report that I saw no slutty costumes at my daughter's school today - and I saw most of the Kindergarten and 1st graders.

There was the little girl in a Cinderella dress that came in from the hallway doing a Model Stalk Walk that made me wince though...

[erin]

54.

I have two small boys and a friend with a teenage daughter recently said to me "at least you only have to worry about 2 penises, mothers of daughters have to worry about thousands!" Terrible but true. I respect all the mothers of girls out there doing their best to raise confident and sensible women!

[Shannon O.]

55.

OMG... That is Lore's Halloween outfit too... I got it last year (after Halloween) when it was $10 hehehe... and she was a hit tonight in it... as soon as I figure out how to down load the photos off my in-laws camera I will have it up on flickr... btw... was your hat WAY huge... because that sucker fit my head... we had to take it in for Lorelei lol...

[Alison]

56.

Bravo! You said it all, I don't have much to add but this very same topic has made me consider moving far away SOMEWHERE and sending my little girl to Waldorf School. I think the way society is rearing its young girls is insane and dangerous!

BTW, the Hershey Kiss costume is truly adorable!

[Melissa Garrett]

57.

In early October I wrote about this same thing, and you wouldn't believe the number of Google searches I got for people hoping to find "pictures of little girls wearing slutty costumes." It's sick. I am SO glad that my 8 year old still chooses to dress like a fairy or princess (even though her choice is getting a bit old). I was at her elementary school parade yesterday, and my husband and I were astonished to see a 5th grader (with bigger boobs than I have) decked out in a skin-tight costume and high heels. What the F are her parents thinking??

[PhotoLori]

58.

MUCH better!

:)

[Ally]

59.

I saw a lot of streetwalkers at trick or treat in our neighborhood. Crazy. A big upside to having a boy.

I was so thrilled to take Jamie this year. He was excited and had a blast, and it's amazing to be creating these memories for him. Hope you had fun!

[Rissa]

60.

I'm having my little girl in Feb. 2008. I'm so worried about when she gets older. Times have surely changed.