SPFAHH

* Something Pretty Fucking Amazing Has Happened

Yep, it's me. Home home home. With little Tori.

There is so much to say... and no way to say it without sounding like a smitten lunatic. Things like, my god, she's so perfect. And she's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. My mom described her tiny little cries as "soap bubbles bursting" and it's true.

Yep. Smitten.

First off, I have to say something to those still on that infertility fucking boulevard. Seriously. Before my blog of happy parenting becomes an unsafe place for you.

It's all worth it.

Once they hand you that kid--tell you it's yours--in one swift second it all becomes nothing compared to the beauty you are holding in your arms. And I'm not just talking about giving birth; I was out completely for the birth and didn't see the baby for eight hours afterwards--she could be from Mars for all I know--it's about that moment when you know, for sure, you are now officially a parent.

It's all so fucking worth it.

It kills me how much I love her already. Deeply, completely, and wonderfully. She is my darling. I have to take back every negative thought I had about Attachment Parenting, because I hate putting this baby down. Of course we're co-sleeping. I can't stand to have her away from me.

I never want to let her go.

...................................................

I wanted to thank you all for your comments. I have read them all, I promise. You'll have to forgive me, though, just this once...I'm not going to reply to them all. I'll do my best to respond from here on out, but those last, um, 1000 or so comments are going to have to live with just being read. OK?

Thanks also to Elise and Sarah for updating everyone. I told you we wouldn't leave you in the lurch! I tried very hard to get access to a computer in the hospital, but short of knocking out the nasty woman at the front desk of the unit, there was no way. We somehow managed to head off to the hospital without the laptop ... can't imagine why.

.....................................................

And now a word about the delivery itself. Why can't I do anything normally? There is a 1% chance of placenta abruption occuring in every pregnancy. Why mine?

Dr. Mama asked me on Friday night (when he came by and spent an HOUR with us) if we were traumatized by the experience. All I could say to him was, well, if we've learned nothing else in these last few years, it's to let go of expectations. Honestly, the only thing I regret about not going through labor is sharing that experience with Charlie and Sarah. That would have been really cool.

But because it was all so fucking scary--I mean, I've never seen so much blood (except in the movies). Here's how it all went, if you are interested...

I woke up about 9:50am, slowly realizing I was having some mild cramps. "How odd." I thought to myself, "Those feel just like menstrual cramps." So I grabbed a tissue and stuck it between my legs and it came up soaked in bright red blood. I stood up, fast, opened the bedroom door and hollered to poor Charlie (on the toilet), "We have a problem!" and in that motion, I gushed. Blood poured down my legs and pooled on the carpet. I grabbed a pillow case and shoved it between my legs and waddled towards the bathroom.

I plopped down on the toilet and felt something fall out. Something big. I leapt up, hoping to be able to see what it was (for some reason, I thought maybe it was the baby's arm--how fucked up is that?) and couldn't--the bowl was full of blood. So I did what any rational person would do--I stuck my hand in there and pulled it out.

It was a clot, bigger than my hand.

We called the labor and delivery room, they said, "Get your ass in here now" or something like that. Charlie was dressed and ready to go by 10:05, but I poked around gathering things (I know!) and we finally left at 10:15. Oh, and I insisted that we use the Doppler and listen to Tori before we left--and I'm so glad we did. Her heart was beating away, and I could hear blood flow in the placenta (the last 20% of it that was attached, apparently).

The hospital is about 40 minutes away. Charlie ran a bunch of lights and we got there by 10:45 (I joked that if a cop stopped us, I'd just pull the wad of blood soaked paper towels out of my crotch and wave them at him).

Charlie ran in and got a wheelchair for me. A too-small wheelchair, which was funny when I got to the PETU and stood up and the chair stuck on my ass for a second. The elevator took FOREVER to get there, and some poor clueless woman on a cell phone pushing a stroller managed to meander by and prevent us from being able to get on it. Charlie had a few choice words for her (I believe "Get off the fucking phone!" and "This is a public space!" were used), and she looked deeply offended (but she was French, so it was hard to tell) and some nice man also waiting was able to smooth everything over, even while Charlie yelled things like "MY WIFE IS BLEEDING OUT!"

The staff at the PETU was AMAZING, I must say. I was naked and on my back in under ten seconds, and suddenly Dr. Mama was there. He said, "I'm here--it's going to be OK!" and then ran off to secure a surgery room (my apologies, by the way, to the twin mom whose scheduled c-section we bumped).

Now, I've been watching ER for years, and I have to tell you, being that patient that is being wheeled down a hallway by running doctors and nurses (one nurse actually securing my IV as she ran alongside my bed) is not fun at all. But everyone was kind and soothing, and I wasn't too worried. Mostly because, by the grace of God, I could feel Tori moving inside me.

Then I was asleep.

I woke up much later, feeling empty and sore. I was informed that I had a Morphine pump (news that made the the junkie inside me say, "Where have you been all my life?"), that Tori was fine, and I was too. I was surprised. I really thought that I was going to lose my uterus. There was just so much blood.

Charlie came back to recovery, and I could see from the relief in his face that is was all fine. Later Sarah came back with photos of Tori. I just rested. I was weak, in pain, and so fucking tired. I was totally at peace with not seeing the baby, somehow. At least until I got to my room.

Sadly, I got there at 7pm, exactly at the nurse shift change. I began to lose patience and freak out about not seeing Tori pretty quickly then. She finally was in my arms at 7:45, and that was officially the best moment of my life.

She's just so damn beautiful.

I'm going to stop now; there's lots of other funny stuff, like Sarah wiping the blood off my feet the next day (I said, "There is something rather biblical about this") and my minister dropping by and doing a blessing for Tori using lavender-scented lotion (we couldn't find any oil). But Tori's been in the bassinet this whole time (she's actually in the Bugaboo--photos pending, I assure you) so I'm going to go torture her with kisses.

Thank you, everyone, for walking this long road with me. I find myself suddenly at a crossroads--the road of infertility and loss and grief behind me, and now I'm standing at the road of normal fucking parenting. It won't be easy to make the change. I hope you all can bear with me.

My heart is full of love for all of you! Well, what's left in there after Tori has taken up so much space anyway.

:)

Comments

[KelliAmanda]

1.

So so glad you're home with your perfect baby. We all love you too!!!

[mamadaisy]

2.

"If you are interested..."

OF COURSE we are interested. are you kidding?

refresh, refresh, refresh...

so glad you are all home, ok, alive, and happy. woohoo!

[gkk]

3.

Cecily, I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see a post like this from you, it has been such a long time coming. How wonderful that you are finally there. Magnificent, isn't it? Well done Mama!!

[Kerry]

4.

It's totally worth it, I have to agree. The scares, the worry, the strife. Totally worth it.

Right about now, i wish it wasn't 40 freaking weeks long though :)

I'm so happy for you, Charlie and beautiful Tori. May you have many busy days ahead while we're all frantically refreshing your site, I'll wait for updates just so you can hold and love that little girl :)

[P]

5.

such a great story...I am bursting for you still.....what a beautiful daughter you have--

[Lisa O]

6.

Oh Cecily you are just radiating love right through my PC. I truly understand how you feel - after going through 3 years of infertility the moment my daughter was placed in my arms I knew I'd go through it again 100 times to have that moment.
Again - I can't say it enough - my heart is overflowing with joy for you and Charlie.
I hope you are resting as much as you can and healing quickly.

[Jackie]

7.

I can't express how happy I am for you!

Sorry of course that the delievery, was, well, less then serine. lol, I can just picture what "No noise in the delivery room Tom Cruis" would have said, had he hear Charlie swearing at the French lady! he he he

Anyway, you give that baby as many hugs and kisses as you want! and give her a few for all of us out here in the internet land, that can't be there to kiss her in real life.

Congrats again! I can't wait until we read all about the fun of parenting.

[Christine]

8.

Welcome home.
You have it all.
Enjoy.

[Jen]

9.

Welcome home! and welcome to the great wide world of parenting. I am so pleased for you.:)

[bluepaintred]

10.

im just so fucking HAPPY for you three. seriously you CANNOT explain to a prenant woman how it feels to hold your baby the first time, and now... now you know.... it gets so much better from here .. what? its perfect now? just you wait , one day little tori will say nigh nigh when you tuck her in, and another day you will kiss her little cheek and say i love you baby and she will reply I luhh ooh! .. you hear will break , mend expand and finally explode when she says i love you the first time.. when her little baby arms figure out howw to return a hug, when she gives her daddy a baby drooly kiss... those are the moments!

now.. im not one to pimp other peoples blogs, but i read soemhting the other day ... and it helped me sooo much. i secretly thought i was a bad mama till i read this. now that tori is here, im passing this on to you. i blogged it, i emailed it, to every person who i know with kids, i sent this!

no one talks about this, no one admits this happens, until now. please read this post from amalah, its so HONEST so true, so reassuring. its something every mom should read weather your child is four days old, or forty years old!

http://www.amalah.com/amalah/2006/06/nobody_tells_yo.html

and lastly, congratulations mom!

[Celeste]

11.

Making the transition to joyful mama is part of the plan. :o) That much is clear given what a darling baby you got out of this all.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. You most definitely earned this.

Thanks for all the pics of your little June rosebud! She holds so much promise.

[Beret]

12.

Welcome home! So very happy for the three of you.

[leisat]

13.

I can't help but post again...I can't express my happiness for you in words. I remember the joy of looking into my own little girls eyes (almost 17 years ago now) and I feel like it was yesterday. Enjoy your beautiful little girl. You have a super interesting story to tell from start to finish!

Rest well and heal quickly!

[Journeywoman]

14.

I'm so happy for you.

Mazel tov! Mazel Tov.

You deserve this and more.

[Sheri]

15.

wow - now THIS is the post I've been waiting to read. Congratulations Mama! Hang on for the ride of your life.

Hugs and kisses to Tori and huge hugs to you my friend..... YOU DID IT!!!!

[JIll]

16.

I am sitting at my desk, crying my eyes out. Isn't is amazing when all hell breaks loose, and yet you know it will all be okay?
This one time, it is going to end well?

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I hope the breastfeeding is smoothing out, and you are able to rest and recoup.

[mar]

17.

Welcome home. Enjoy every single solitary moment of it - you'll soon be understanding why people say it goes so fast.

Happy healing - in all ways!

[Jaycie]

18.

SPFAHH indeed! Isn't it amazing just how in love you can be?
I'm so happy for you guys. "Congratulations" still seems woefully inadequate, but CONGRATULATIONS!! What does Hammer think???

[JenniF]

19.

Delurking and crying bucketloads of grateful tears for you! Congrats on a very beautiful daughter, I am so glad you are all okay! Enjoy and get some rest!

[Val]

20.

Welcome home - enjoy the ride into parenthood. It will be bumpy, but I know you can handle it and will love every second.

[Kate]

21.

"Congratulations" just doesn't seem like a big enough word for what you are experiencing now. Enjoy *every* *second* with your beautiful baby girl. You deserve it!

[Linda B]

22.

Sniff. I'm soo happy for you and Charlie.

And don't worry, I like smitten lunatics.

[Blanche]

23.

so. fricken. awesome.

[elecriclady]

24.

Sniffling at my desk. So happy for you. Welcome home!

[Cat, Galloping]

25.

I can't tell you how happy I am that SPFAHH. I'm so glad you had the excellent care that you did to prevent another tragedy.

Funny you say that about attachment parenting... I feel the same way... not full on, we don't co-sleep, but I held him for 3.5 months straight during the daytime and still hold him a lot. I work from home and in those rare times when I go out without my baby, to meet a friend, to go shopping, I feel like a piece of me is missing.

Tori is absolutely perfect and beautiful. I'm so happy for you all.

Please... no response required... spend those extra few seconds with Tori!

[Jenn]

26.

I am so, so very happy for you guys. Tori is beautiful! Welcome home.

[MelissaS]

27.

Home with your family. I am so happy for you.

[Jenni]

28.

How wonderful! I am so happy for you and so glad it turned out ok. Thank you for sharing it all through your blog. You're an inspiration to those of us not having 'perfect' pregnancies to know the payoff is indeed there in the end!

LOL about the attachment parenting thing. Heart melted just a little?! Anyway, enjoy and I look forward to more installments.

[Melissa P.]

29.

I just knew you would carry Tori through.
And you DID it! I am happy beyond words for you. All the pregnancy problems were all worth it, right? Once you see that baby, your baby everything changes inside you.
I am sorry how your delivery ended, but what excitement you caused for all concerned. Your Dr. Mama sounds like the best.
The pictures of you holding Tori were indescrible. Your happiness and contentment are written all over your face.
Cecily,
Isn't it the most wonderful feeling in the world? There is nothing so great or wonderful like it at all.
You look like a perfect momma.
I am so happy that you are okay and Tori is healthy and here.
May God bless you both.
Much Love to you.

[Magnolia]

30.

congratulations honey...I know exactly what you mean, if I had one hour of my life to live over and over again it would be the first hour me and my son were together

[Tricia]

31.

Amazing how much you can be in love with someone so quickly, isn't it? Enjoy these first tender moments with Tori and Charlie and becoming a whole family unit.

[Cali]

32.

While I am yet a sophomore in Infertility High it is still a beautiful and fantastic moment to watch you graduate with honors. I think all of us that have had problems getting knocked up just want to be DONE with that chapter & be in the parenting chapter. You are an inspiration and I can't wait to read what happens next.
Welcome home!!

[Ann]

33.

OK, *now* I'm crying. I'm so, SO glad everything is OK, that you're home with your little bundle of undiluted joy and recovering. But man, what a fucking terrifying story.

Stop reading here if you don't want to hear why I think it's so scary.

When I was a wee student nurse I was present at a situation almost exactly the same- mom woke up with lots of bright red blood, rushed in and they wheeled her into an emergency c-section. But in her case, the baby died somewhere between first getting to the hospital and actually getting out. I was recording events for the resuscitation team, and I'll never forget that little girl.

Actually, what I'll never forget was the poor dad, waiting in the hallway, and having to walk by him afterwards, him looking so anxious and not yet knowing anything, and me hoping so badly that my face wasn't giving anything away before someone more qualified than me could get out to talk to him. (more tears being shed now).

But she's all right! More than that, she's perfect! And you are going to be such a wonderful mom. Congratulations again.

[Kier]

34.

CONGRATULATIONS! And welcome home!

[AmyElle]

35.

I just can't stop crying out of happiness for you guys. This will never erase what you lost, but it does help heal a bit.

She is just beautiful. Congrats.

[krimojo]

36.

I'm supposed to leave for work in 10 minutes, and now you've got my eyes all red and streaming. So glad everything turned out OK, better than Ok - PERFECT!!!
Congratulations!

[Cory]

37.

Congratulations - it's a pleasure for all of us to see you so happy.

[Kier]

38.

(pressed enter before I could finish the comment!)

Cecily and Charlie, I'm over the moon thrilled for you! This post has brought me to sobs...so darn happy everything turned out okay. Love to little Tori!

[mirabel]

39.

I'm crying AGAIN.

I can't wait to read more about your daughter.

[Jen]

40.

I'm so glad you are all home! I'll never get sick of hearing about your journey with Charlie and Tori. Congratulations!

[Trish]

41.

It's funny because in the beginning, you brought tears to my eyes for all of the sad reasons- I understood some of your pain, I understood your broken heart, and I only wished that it would heal in time...

Then this pregnancy- you started making me cry with your happy posts, your thoughtful posts, your sad posts...

So today cannot be any different! I have such tears of happiness right now! I am so happy for you and little Tori! And you made me laugh so hard when you said that of course, Tori is sleeping with you! I was against cosleeping, myself- but I have a 9 month old that hasn't spent a night outside of my arms except when he could fit in the mini cosleeper snuggled against the bed.

Congratulations, Cecily! AND TORI! AND CHARLIE!!!! And your pit, too- I mean- he has a new little sister to protect ;)

[Moxie]

42.

I am so happy for you.

The two things I've been thinking about this crazy ride are that 1) you never have to do this again!, and 2) you will never wonder if you "really needed" a c-section because, damn. Placental abruption. I thank God that s/he sent Dr. Mama to the hospital right when you needed him.

I really wish Charlie had never had to speak the words "My wife is bleeding out!"

[Laura]

43.

Cecily, I am so happy that you are home. Thank you for sharing your birth story. Miss Tori is oh so beautiful!

[Mindy]

44.

wow. i've got tears in my eyes. how wonderful and miraculous.

(for the record I also had an abruption although not as severe as yours. You had a miracle.)

[victoria]

45.

Aw, why you make me bawl at work? Cecily, I'm so sorry about the scary abruption, but so so so glad that Tori is home and safe in your loving arms.

[boxing octopus]

46.

I am so happy for you, Cecily. Blessings to you and your little family.

[Carrie]

47.

Congrats again Cecily. Welcome to this wonderful scary thing called parenthood. I cannot wait to walk this journey with you!

[Susan]

48.

SPFAHH!!! Indeed it has!!

I know what you mean about attachment parenting taking over---I didn't put my daughter down for the first (almost) five months of her life; I was just so in awe of her---and that was long before I'd ever even heard of AP.

Don't worry. You will learn to type while nursing =:)

Congratulations, again. You have a gorgeous family.

[Milenka]

49.

Welcome home. :-)

[Aimee]

50.

I'm a Mom of two boys after Infertility. We're soon to TTC our 3rd baby through IUI and man, parenthood rocks. I'm so glad Tori is here and she's with you in your arms. Amazing. I've followed your story for a long time and cheered you on (lurking, never posting).

God has blessed you! Yay!
Love,
Aimee

[Amanda]

51.

I am just bursting with happiness for you. Seriously. Even though the delivery sounds scary as hell, I'm so happy you have your baby now. Get baby out alive, right?!

[Sophia]

52.

Thank you for the tears I'm shedding and for giving me a little more strength to jump on the IVF bandwagon in a couple of weeks. I am sooo tired to be on this journey and you reminded me why I'm doing this.

[tyanne]

53.

So happy for you and your family. Am glad you and Tori are healthy, and happy.

[KidKate]

54.

Crying with happiness...

[laura]

55.

I am so happy for you! Isn't it amazing that a tiny little baby can heal so much damage to a person's heart? I was lucky enough to experience that myself last year - it is incredible and and hard to put into words. Have a wonderful first week at home with Tori! Enjoy!

[Roxanne]

56.

Cecily,
I am just so god damned happy for you. I am really really sorry you had to go through all the extra trauma of the placental abruption. I cannot imagine (don't want to) how you must have been feeling when you saw all that blood. But thank God that everything was okay.

Your was one of the first blogs I started reading after our son was stillborn...it was a few months after you lost your boys...and it helped me so much to know that other women were out there going through what I was going through. I am just so happy that you get to have the joy after all of the rotten rotten rotten pain. YEAH!!!!! I love happy endings!

[suzanne]

57.

I love happy endings. Bless her beautiful little heart and every other beautiful part.

[Hippie Mama]

58.

Your story is amazing. You are so strong and brave! Your daughter is lucky to have a mom like you, really.

And the co-sleeping thing? YEAH! Once you get them home, you're like, put my baby in his own bed??? Nooooo, I don't think so! We have a crib that, in four months, has never had a baby sleeping in it for more than like fifteen minutes.

[Kari]

59.

With the risk of this being an "all about me" comment, I just have to tell you that while you were going through all of this, I was in a long hard labor. My (rather large) miracle fiinally made his appearance less than 20 hours after Tori. Everything you say here about loving her more than you ever imagined rings true here, too. I'm so thrilled you got your miracle!

[Hope]

60.

I'm so happy for you! Be sure to put pictures up, I want to watch her grow.

[Reese]

61.

Welcome home, Tori, Mommy and Daddy! I'm so happy for you all.

Co-sleeping rocks!

[Bella]

62.

I am really so happy for you. It's just been the coolest thing to follow your family for the last year + and see this marvelous outcome. Congrats again!

[Cindi]

63.

There isn't anything to compare to the first time they hand you that tiny swaddled creature and the smell and warmth of her just wraps around you.

I am so glad that you have now experienced that. The memory never leaves you. And the happiness is part of your life forever.

Congratulations Mommy and Daddy!!

C

[anam]

64.

it is totally worth it - we were the same - 5 years of infertilty and loss to have a normal child born - in that instance all the hurt, pain and sorrow melted away. enjoy parenthood - with its pains and its joys :)

[libby]

65.

Oh, I'm crying at work now. So fucking happy for you all. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story with us, Cecily. There is truly no other feeling in this world like the overwhelming love for your child, isn't there? And somehow I don't think "normal" parenting is in the cards for you. Extraordinary, perhaps, but not normal. Normal is way overrated anyway.

[Paula]

66.

Im just so happy for you, Im crying.
Congratulations again to you and your husband.

[Rev. Dr. Mom]

67.

Cecily, you make me laugh and cry at the same time; after all the scary stuff you went through you can still tell the story with grace and humor. And what an amazing ob Dr. Mama must be!

I am so, so, so very glad for you and Charlie and Tori that you are all home together.

Many blessings for you all three!

[Leggy]

68.

I'm so happy you are finally getting to experience this wonderful thing called parenthood. Seeing the written account of is somehow even more scary than talking about it at the hospital, I guess because you were joking about it all since the worst was over. Just so glad everyone is safe and sound.

[Sassy]

69.

So fantastic. :)

[Whitney]

70.

Ok, so I didn't cry when Elise and Sarah posted, but this did it!! What a scary time, but thank God for a great ending.

[Meira]

71.

Ok, mark this the FOURTH time I've heard this birth story and it is still capitivating and I am crying again!

And still so so so so SOOOO happy for you.

[Leslie]

72.

Congratulations on your new life!

[Monica]

73.

I've been a random lurker for quite a while but I've always been too shy to post a reply figuring you'd already heard it a million times from all the other posters. But today I did want to drop a line to you saying congratulations and all my best to you, your husband, and little Tori. Much joy to you and your family.

[Michele]

74.

Again, I'm so glad you and that beautiful baby are both ALIVE AND WELL!!!! Hopefully she will be the most cooperative, wonderful child in the world to make up for your pregnancy and delivery! Can't do anything easy, huh?

Hugs to Charlie and Tori!

[Camille]

75.

Remember your ER season finale post....

Life imitating 'art' or some such crap.

BUT yours has a gorgeouse little darling in it. Thank God!

Marvelous, wonderful, incredible. Way to go!

[Mia]

76.

The deliciousness of being a mother...I loved and love every blessed second - good and bad.

I'm so happy for you and Charlie, you're in for quite a wonderful ride and I am so grateful you're sharing it with us.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!

[Katie/WannaBeMom]

77.

HURRAH!

[Bluestocking]

78.

Isn't it just the best? You deserve this. We all do. Enjoy.

PS - don't even stress for a second about responding to comments. We get it.

[parodie]

79.

Hooray! Congratulations!! I am so bloody happy for you, and have been refreshing like crazy hoping to find a post. :-)
I'm so glad you're home, and happy and safe. Amazing.

[Gina]

80.

We did the infertility dance there for a few years and finally after a load of Mag Sulfate my Son was born almost 2 years ago.

Isn't it just AMAZING how all of a sudden you just 'get it'? I mean you all of a sudden KNOW the meaning of life and you just KNOW. It all makes perfect sense and you can't imagine anything worth being upset about...

Now by some miracle I have been blessed with a second child. I found out friday it will be a girl. I can't wait :)

[Dee]

81.

Welcome home Tori, Cecily, and Charlie!

Am thrilled beyond words for the three of you, and also so very relieved that Dr. Mama was your doc.

Now go love up on that little girl--I didn't know I was capable of having so much love in me until I had J. For me, it was amazing how one little person can change so many things, not the least of which was a hardened and hopeless heart.

[The Aitch]

82.

It will be terribly easy to make the change. You'll see. Love you.

[Jane]

83.

Welcome home!

Can I just say that I love seeing at the bottom of your posts where it says Tori's name as the category instead of Baby *Attempt*?

[R]

84.

I'm totally, speechlessly happy for you. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter, and enjoy!

[Ninotchka]

85.

She really is absolutely gorgeous. I'm so glad she's here safe and sound and that you're all doing well.

Enjoy!

[Diana]

86.

A new beginning! Welcome Home Tori! I'm so glad you're okay, and that Tori is perfect...and that Charlie looks like a pro!
Hammer will def. be protecting the HELL out of that girl...
We are here to take the journey through parenthood with you Cec. Congratu-fucking-lations!

[Yatima]

87.

"...by the grace of God, I could feel Tori moving inside me..."

Sister, I swear, you're going to reignite my faith.

[Julie]

88.

Congratulations again!! Your post made me cry...you have one lucky girl to have parents who love her so much. And she's beautiful!!

[Susie]

89.

That is one scary story, but one of the happiest endings ever. I am so happy for you and Charlie and Sarah and everyone else in your family.

HUGS to all!

[sheilah]

90.

Isn’t it amazing? I never believed I could love anyone as much as I love my son. Is this a ‘mom thing’ or an ‘infertile mom thing’ (never having been the former, I only know the latter). It is probably a ‘mom thing.’

One of my friends says that if she loved her children any more she would forget to breathe.

Don’t forget to breathe.

[PBfish]

91.

Congratulations, at long last!

[Kris]

92.

I am so happy for you and Charlie!!

[Beth in Michigan]

93.

Welcome home, Tori! Thank you so much for letting us share in your baby making adventure. It's been wonderful to be allowed this little peak into your lives.

Thank you also for not feeling obligated to respond to the 1000 comments you received. I always feel guilty for commenting when I know I'm adding one more thing to someone else's to-do list! So don't feel obligated to respond to this one either! ;)

Someone said they thought she looks like you, Cecily. But I swear, I'm seeing a little female version of Charlie here! I'm not placing any money on that bet, but it will be great fun to watch her grow and figure out who she looks like!

Just imagining all the fun and joyous emotions you must be experiencing makes me gush for you all over again! I'm so happy for you guys! Congratulations again!

[Brandi]

94.

If we are freakin interested! I am so glad everyone is happy, healthy and HOME!

Tori is beautiful :)

[Bridgette]

95.

That was one of the most beautiful (and scary!) things I've ever read. It is all worth it when they hand you that baby, the thing you have struggled so long and hard for.

Enjoy your daughter. She really is gorgeous!

Now I'm off to grab a tissue.

[Elena]

96.

Thank you so much for checking in and sharing with us Cecily. So good to hear you are doing well.

I had a similar experience with my 5th child. Her cord prolapsed. Less than a 1% chance with that happening. I had to do the ambulance transfer, general anesthesia thing too and it was very scary. Your retelling brought it all back to me!

So now you're a mom! Believe it or not, the hard part starts now!! but the fun part does too! They are soooo worth it!

Give Tori some of those kisses from all of her Bloggie Cyber Aunts!! There are a lot of us. : )

[wix]

97.

Hooray!

[Stephanie]

98.

I'm so happy to hear how totally happy you sound. Your comment about attachment parenting made me laugh because that's exactly how I felt. I was *totally* opposed to co-sleeping but DH and I love having Ellie in our bed and even though I know she has to get her own bed sometime, I will miss watching her sleep when I wake up in the morning.

I'm so glad you were able to feel Tori moving before the C-section. I'm sure it was all very scary and at least you had that reassurance that she was okay. Once again, Dr. Mama sounds so fabulous.

Reading your post gave me goosebumps and made me go pick up my daughter and hug her. She's not a newborn anymore, but I'll never forget the moment she was born and I picked her up. Happiest moment of my life. I love knowing that you got to have the moment and thank you so much for sharing it.

[Duchess]

99.

Thank you for reminding me what it's all about.

I am so tickled pink for you guys.

[Michele Lane]

100.

C-

I NEEDED to hear that.. Sometimes when youre on the infertility road, you forget that there IS a destination, not just endless detours and crappy truckstops.
Congrats again. Cant wait to hear your take on parenting.