And THAT is why I fucking HATE doctors...

Now, I realize that I am a nightmare patient. I'm extremely well educated. I have a Google medical  degree. I advocate vigorously for my own care. I do NOT take the doctor's word as if s/he is God. I insist on explanations for everything. I don't always follow directions perfectly (although I do when I trust the doctor is being specific to MY care, not just following some cookie cutter protocol).And I demand time, that most precious of medical treatments.

But even so, I think I'm cursed.

I didn't see Dr. Asshole yesterday, although he WAS at the practice and I saw him running around. Instead I saw Dr. Dismissive.

It wasn't a good morning to begin with. I slept badly (as I always do when I have to get up early for something), so I was tired. Charlie and I were bickering madly as we walked into the appointment. It was horribly hot in the waiting room, and so packed that not all the pregnant women got to sit down.

And then we waited. And waited. We waited for nearly an hour and a half. Which sucked, but would have been much less annoying if we hadn't seen several pharmaceutical reps get seen while no patients did (what the FUCK is with that, anyway?). Once we finally got back to a room, the doctor raced by, poked his head in and said, "I'll be right there!"

You know love at first sight? Yeah. I didn't have that for this guy.

He finally comes into the room, introduces himself, and then shakes Charlie's hand (he did not shake my hand). He plops down and starts flipping through my chart (why don't they do that before they come in the room?). I mention that I'm fabulously high risk, and this gets a smile, so I'm thinking we're going to be OK. But then he starts speaking, before he's finished reading my chart.

"You don't need to be on this much folic acid," he says.

"I have one variant of the Motherfucker mutation," I say, smiling. "You know, the MTHFR mutation?"

No reaction. I chuckle nervously, and say, "That's what we call the mutation in the infertility world."

Nothing.

"Still," He says. "You probably don't need this much."

I look right at him and say sweetly, "I trust Dr. Mama's assessment and recommendations, thank you."

He mutters, half to himself, "Well, it's not hurting you."

I say, "I'm also on a single baby aspirin a day to help prevent the preeclampsia."

He shakes his head. "That's voodoo." He says.

I reply, icily, "Not according to the Preeclampsia Foundation**, and several studies."

He  waves his hand through the air, dismissing the Preeclampsia Foundation as a bunch of quacks.

I say, "And exactly how many research papers on Preeclampsia have you done, motherfucker?"

OK, I didn't, but MAN I should have.

When I'd suggested the baby aspirin to Dr. Mama, he said, gently, "We don't really know how effective that is. And while there are some risks in taking aspirin in pregnancy, at that dose it should be fine, so let's go ahead."

MUCH BETTER CHOICE OF WORDS.

Dr. Dismissive then suggested I do a series of tests (a 24-hour urine collection--fun!, an EKG, and a retinal scan) to get a baseline in case problems occur again. I don't think any of that will hurt, and may be helpful, so I have no problem going ahead with them, even though it's all a whopping pain in the ass.

Things were wrapping up. I asked him several questions, which he didn't bother to answer. At this point, I was waiting for the appointment to end, so I let it go.

The last thing he said was, "At this point we MIGHT be able to hear the heartbeat..."

At 14.5 weeks, he might be able to hear a heartbeat. Funny. At ten week, Dr. Mama thought he might be able to hear it. And gave it the ol' college try.

At that moment I knew I was not pulling down my pants for this man. "That's OK," I said. "We have a Doppler at home and have been hearing the heartbeat twice a day for TWO WEEKS."

Then he told us to go back to the lobby, but not to leave until we get my urine collection kit. After standing out there for twenty minutes, I finally asked his nurse about it.

He didn't tell her we needed it.

Fucker.

Many of you suggested that I tell Dr. Mama that I didn't want to see Dr. Asshole. I think it's critical that Dr. Asshole has to sit across from me and listen to what I have to say first. And an appointment is the best way to do that. If he is contrite, I might allow him to be part of my rotation. But I will be requesting that Dr. Dismissive be removed from my rotation. There is no way I would want that man present at a birth.

In the hallway of the practice, there is the requisite wall of baby photos. Over and over again, there are photos of a doctor holding a newborn baby with a huge happy grin on his face. The doctor in the photos is Dr. Mama. No other doctor is pictured.

I begin to see why.

It's not just me, right? It's completely unprofessional to contradict another doctor's recommendations, isn't it? Why on earth did he think that was OK?

Grrrrrrr.

Well, I'm off to collect my urine. Enjoy your day, everyone!

**According to several entries on the "Ask The Experts" forum at The Preeclampsia Foundation's website, aspirin therapy is still pretty controversial. It took data from over 30,000 women to show that taking baby aspirin had any effect at all, and then the improvement was small. But having lost two children to preeclampsia already, the 12% decrease in preeclmapsia and the 14% decrease in fetal mortality looks pretty damn good to me.

Comments

[Pamplemousse]

1.

Well done on your restraint! I don't know why but for some reason, I thought Dr Mama was a woman! I don't know where I got that from?? I am so glad that you did not take your pants off for that man.

Remind me again, what dose of folic acid are you taking every day?

2.

I don't know if Dr. Dismissive is worse than Dr. Asshole - what jerks. I'm surprised that he contradicted another doctor especially IN HIS OWN PRACTICE. Nice.

I hope the rest of the docs aren't as bad as these two. There are more, right? Grrrr...

I admire your restraint as well!

[Heather]

3.

Sorry - that was me - Ms. No name! :)

[leslie]

4.

What a jerk! How many doctors are in this practice? I'm just wondering how many cover call at any given time - will you be able to avoid two of them for your birth? Lousy to have to go through that concern on top of all the other reasons to worry. grrrrr - I hate doctors who condescend to their patients!

[The Aitch]

5.

I am sorry you had to deal with that. Want I should break his legs?

[SashaP]

6.

Delurking to say, I am just as bad at doctors' appointments. My new OB nearly (actually she did try) kicked me out after I questioned her judgement. But alas, I am having twins and I am afraid to go anywhere but this practice which is reported to be the best in city. After IVF I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that I have to educate my Harvard educated doctor.

Stacy

[Lisa]

7.

I used to work in a doctor's office (not an OB) and more than likely, the drug reps weren't seeing the doctors. Our reps would come in, stock the sample closet, and then WE would stop a doc in the hall and get his/her signature for the rep. So don't put too much into them waltzing in and out.

But do put too much into Dr. Dismissive. He's an ass.

[Meredith]

8.

Love your blog!

To quote you-

"Now, I realize that I am a nightmare patient. I'm extremely well educated. I have a Google medical degree. I advocate vigorously for my own care. I do NOT take the doctor's word as if s/he is God. I insist on explanations for everything. I don't always follow directions perfectly (although I do when I trust the doctor is being specific to MY care, not just following some cookie cutter protocol).And I demand time, that most precious of medical treatments."

I have the same problem. And I've found that a doctor who is competant and confident in his knowledge and practice (note that confident does not mean cocky) is pretty happy that I do my homework, because he/she can bounce ideas off of me and we can decide together what the best treatment option is for me at any particular time. I love those doctors- but unfortunately they seem to be rare gems. I usually encounter doctors that have egos the size of texas and doctors that are insecure about their knowledge of a particular subject, and these types are very put off by me. They either argue with "facts" I know to be incorrect, or get irritated and ignore my comments/questions (as was your experience, too, I see). I tend not to see those doctors again, and I am glad that you are taking Dr. Dismissive off of your rotation list- you go girl!

[Sherry]

9.

Hmmmm

Now you have me rethinking the concept of using that practice if I think I can face being pregnant again....

Why oh why is a good practice with more than one good doctor so hard to find!

I'm glad you told him about the home doppler - take THAT! And I have to admit it would have been awesome if you really did call him motherfucker! Don't most doctors need to be humbled in that way - once in a while? !!!

Sherry

[Kellie]

10.

As someone said, typically the drug reps don't actually see the doctors. However, I despise waiting for over an hour to be seen. I work really hard in my practice to be on time to see patients. I do not overbook. Also, contradicting another physician (especially in the same practice) in front of a patient is just stupid.

I'm glad you don't want Drdismissive around. I wouldn't either.

[Sheri]

11.

oh what is this workd coming to? I'm not even pregnant and I would want Dr. Mama to deliver any babies for me! He soulds wonderful. On the other hand.... these other two appear to have a few cards missing from the professional deck. Doctors aren't always what they are cracked up to be. My niece was at a college interview a few weeks ago. While she was in the waiting room, she started talking to another interviewee. When my niece stated that the University of New England was her first choice for O.D training the other girl said "Really? How nice. I had forgotten that New England was a state". I'm not making this up. Really - this girl is a future doctor. yikes

[Lee]

12.

I have a policy about doctor visits. If I have to wait longer than my visit with the doctor ultimately lasts, I'm ticked off. Clearly this qualified!

[Heatherg]

13.

Your wait time sucked, but I, too, have been there-done that.

I was blessed with 2 awesome OB/GYN Docs in one practice, so i really hate to hear about these docs in this practice.

Now, I'm going to be praying you go in to labor and Doc Momma is on call!!!!

[wix]

14.

o yes, the 24-hour urine collection is fun fun fun! whee!

on the pharma reps, they are usually seen by either the senior nurse or the office manager, not docs, at least from what i understand. not that this helps, and there's no way you should have been kept waiting for an hour and a half unless someone was trying to save a pregnancy or deliver a baby (and then, you ought to have been given a discreet explanation). i know things come up, as i'm sure you do, too, but at the same time, to have that wait followed by such a blah visit is no good.

[Susan]

15.

Arrogant jackass...what a waste of your time to even deal with him. By all means, keep him out of your rotation for visits, delivery and any questions up until then.
And tell Dr. Mama he is not allowed to go anywhere for the next 25.5 weeks!

[Cricket]

16.

You were generous with calling him Dr. Dismissive. I'd have chosen another D-list word, like Dr. Dick.

I like your "is it just me" wonderings and take comfort in the fact that we are not alone in our borderline paranoia.

[Menita]

17.

Wow. Thank goodness you got Dr. Mama.

[Wendy]

18.

Here's my two bits:
Those doctors - most of them leave me cold. With the air of superiority, and the time crunching speed at which they look over the file and "know", just "know" everything about you. I'm always left feeling insignificant and like I bothered my doctor by even having a fucking appointment with him. Like I am not a person, but I am a number. I have yet to find a gyno that I even care for. I know for a fact that the 2 doctors who delivered my kids would not even recognize me in a line up. Honestly, it makes me want to spit. I think a lot of us feel like you. Thank God you have Dr. Mama - he sounds great.

[Jenn in AK]

19.

When you have the baby, ask to see Dr. Asshole. Hold up Baby and say "see? It's a wonderful, fabulous baby! And even better, I'm still alive! Care to apologize, Asshole?" :-)

Dr. Dismissive seems almost as bad - sorry you had to have him.

Jenn

[jilbo]

20.

Prick.

I have switched to seeing the PAC at my doctor's office for all my visits. She always listens to me and explains any options. Last time i went she told me she recently underwent her yearly exam so she was feeling very sympathetic. If someone's face has to be in my crotch. i want it to be hers and not some creepy guy who's never had to have his privates examined while in a humiliating position with a hot spotlight on the goods.

[Cathy]

21.

Just wanted to chime in my aggreement with Merideth. You are far from the nightmare patient for the right doctor.

There is a pretty famous study (done by nurses so discounted by MDs)where cancer patients were graded on their passivity vs difficultness and this was linked with their survival rate. Guess what. The patients that questioned every procedure, complained, insisted on time etc - lived.

So please please be a pia to deserving docs- reseach proves its effectiveness.

Hugs
Cathy

[Ninotchka]

22.

What a jerk. Good for you for showing restraint. I do wish you had called him a motherfucker though. That would have been GREAT. lol (I'm joking, OK, HALF-joking.)

[Linda B]

23.

Ugh, what a jerk! I'm sorry your appt sucked with that doc.

The best kinds of doctors are the ones who really do try and educate their patients on an individual basis. I'm so lucky to have a doctor that loves to explain things to us in great detail but I know not everyone is so fortunate. They should make doctors take personality classes in med school. Kidding. Kind of.

Also, please tell me the non-pregnant people in the waiting room gave up their seats for the prego ladies. I hope chivalry is not dead.

[KellyH]

24.

You know, I think a 30 minute wait in any doctor's office is standard. They must teach courses in medical school- "How To Schedule Your Day So Every Fucking Person Waits Forever 101." An hour and a half is ridiculous.

I'm with Linda B- please say all those chairs contained pregnant women, and not their husbands/partners. I would get so angry when I went to the OB and the waiting room was full with half the chairs taken by MEN. Sit on the floor, dumbasses.

And Dr. Dismissive? What a cretin!

[CJ]

25.

I think your right on the thought that Dr. Asshole not be in the "rotation". I was lucky - I had awesome OB's all the way through.... And that is what you need! AWESOME OB's!!

[melissa]

26.

AHHHHH.

Sorry - I read that and had to scream in frustration and I wasn't even there... I'm so glad Dr. Mama is great - too bad he shares a practice with jerks.

[Tapetum]

27.

It's a shame there aren't more OB's like Dr. Mama out there - particularly in this practice!

Based on my experience of OB's (pretty varied, since I keep moving states while pregnant), I would prefer Dr. Asshole in the rotation than Dr. Dismissive. Dr. Asshole is rude, arrogant, and oblivious to his patients' feelings (which you absolutely should not have to put up with), but ignoring what a patient is telling you is much more dangerous.

E.g. I spent overnight in the hospital at one point because the OB on call didn't bother to listen to the end of my sentence, and gave incomplete medication orders to the nurses. Two more seconds of listening on the phone would have saved me hours of discomfort, and the expense of the hospital.

[Spacemom]

28.

Wow, amazing. The MTFR mutation is relatively misunderstood but from everything I've read, all agree that folic acid needs to be highly supplimented! Hello? Don't you think the patient might know what she is talking about?

I am sorry that your other doctors in your practice are not so good.

I am now beyond belief happy with my doc. She is the most attentive in the world after hearing your story!

[Amanda]

29.

I have a great OB whom I love to death. The nice thing is that when I can't see him, I get to see his father and their excellent bedside manner seems to be genetic. It pretty obviously can't be taught.

Most doctors are total assholes - which is especially noticable when you're obese. I finally started saying things like "No shit, Sherlock" when they'd tell me I needed to lose weight (which, as I'm sure you know, is the ultimate CURE for every. single. ailment an obese person might ever encounter) Gah! I totally understand why you're so pissed. Any chance they'll let you continue exclusively with the doc you actually like?

[lauralu]

30.

a doctor who views an educated patient as a nightmare shouldn't be allowed to lay a h and on you. it's your freaking responsibility to be your own advocate, to ask questions, to do your homework. for one thing, doctors and nurses and staff people are all human, and they're not going to remember everything. for another, you probably had to sign a "patient's rights and responsibilities" or something like it when you started going to that practice, in which you promised to do all those things. i'm fortunate that my ob is one in a million (added bonus: he's kinda hot), and dr mama sounds like a gem, too - why would you let anyone else touch your hoo-ha?

[mijk]

31.

I think your absolutely right..in not wanting to see him in a deliveryroom! And i do think facing dr asshole is a good plan too!

[penelope]

32.

I'm so sorry you're high risk and stuck with those losers.

I switched to a midwife practice after just a teensy dose of what you're talking about. I have never waited more than 7 minutes for an appointment, everyone there knows who I am, all my questions are answered diplomatically and completely, and my opinion is always respected.

It just sucks that the whole birthing process with drs is turned into an assembly-line process.

It's especially hard when one is used to getting very professional attention from RE's.

I really, really hope that they take you and your concerns much more seriously.

[laura]

33.

What a total prick. I say that you DEMAND Dr.Mama on all future visits.

[Liana]

34.

I have to say that I hope I'm not in your all doctors are assholes category. But reading posts like yours makes me glad that I have left clinical medicine. It is so damn frustrating and disheartening to be a doc nowadays. (Mis)Managed care has us overbooking patients to stay solvent, allowing less time and causing more frustration.

Problem two is that if you take away from time with your patient, you don't/can't explain everything as you want to, and this sets up mistrust. And with all the information both good and bad available on the internet (my husband who misdiagnosed his stomach flu as hepatitis also has a medical degree from Google Med School) you actually need more time to spend with patients, not less.

The doctors who really care are getting very burned out. I even see it in Dr. Mama, even though he would go to an early grave before giving in to it. This leaves more and more of the caring doctors moving outside of clinical medicine because they cannot take the treadmill of too many patients for good care, patients who arrive unhappy or without trust, skyrocketing malpractice, and poor reimbursement from insurance companies. Do you know how much a neonatologist gets paid by Medicaid for performing a complicated resusitation on a newborn? About $15 bucks. I'm not joking.

Where can you go to get more personalized care? The doctors who don't take insurance. But how many of us can afford that?

So you are left with the die hard types like Dr. Mama who will have a stroke before he shortchanges his patients, those of us who just couldn't hack contstantly being behind or shortchanging patients, and those docs who just treat patient care like a mill. It is not a pretty situation. And in OB care, you know how much worse the situation gets because of the horrible malpractice issues involved.

Something needs to be done because most of the good docs in major cities are buring out by 40. I know I did.

[Sherry]

35.

Give 'em hell, Cec. I had to do that with one of the docs in my practice, too. If nothing else, it made me feel MUCH better and I never had to see him again for an appointment.

Oh man, the 24 hour urine...boy does THAT bring back memories. I had to do 3 while I was pregnant. I feel your pain, sister.

[Moxie]

36.

If it doesn't hurt, why not encourage you to take it even if it isn't positive that it helps? That seems to defy logic.

Also, FWIW, I think you should tell Dr. Asshole but *also* write up a list of your points about him and send it to the office administrator, just so Dr. A gets a hard copy of what you said and so it's on file.

Also, FWIW, I think you're going to have a midwife-and-Dr. Mama-assisted delivery at 39 weeks. But that's just my guess.:)

[Bluestocking]

37.

[political rant] You know how conservatives say that if we had universal health care, so that the richest damn country in the world didn't have millions of uninsured people, that we would have to wait a long time for appointments and never see the same doctor? I just gotta know - have these people been to the doctor recently? God it pisses me off. [political rant/]

On a more personal note, damn am I grateful for my OB. That practice (big university medical school) didn't have any of this "see every doctor at the practice" nonsense. What is the point of that? Sorry Cecily. One would think that practicing obstetrics might teach one a little sensitivity. But one would, sadly, be wrong. My OB was wonderful and had had 3 kids after 39 (including twins) so had personal and professional knowledge. I'm sure there are female obstetricians that stink, but maybe not as many?

[BeenThere]

38.

My OB/GYN practice in Chicago was made up of all gay docs. No kidding. Loved my Doc but couldn't stand one of his partners (we used to call him the Queen Bee) who actually said to me when he walked in the room and I was 38 wks. pregnant with twins, red faced, sweaty, hugely uncomfortable, "you look terrible." Gee thanks. I know it sucks to wait but I have to chime in that all the best docs I've ever had for myself and family are docs who take as much time as we needed and didn't rush us. Naturally their appointments ran long and everyone waited, but it was worth it. I really don't envy being a good doc nowadays. Sorry you had such a miserable time.

[BeenThere]

39.

Oh, meant to comment that the point of seeing all the docs in the practice is that any one of them could end up deliving your baby(ies) based on schedules, vacations, etc. and I guess they want you to have at least met the doc.

[margi]

40.

I had to do TWO 24 hour pee collections during my pregnancy. By the time I had to do them (late in 2nd and into 3rd trimester)I was drinking a gallon of water a day to help with swelling and amniotic fluid amounts. So, yeah, a gallon going in..means prolly not a gallon coming out, but a whole hellla lot. I filled the jug in the wee morning hours. Which means, techically, the first one wasn't truly 24 hours, but they took it. The second one, I got two jugs..and filled the second one up half. That's a whole lotta pee.

Aren't bodily fluids fun? I love telling that story.

Do you have to go with this ob office? Ask Dr. Mama for another recommendation?

[Cathy]

41.

Cecily, I've said it before and I'll probably say it again, YOU ROCK!

[Amy]

42.

You are a better woman than I am. Good for you for doing all your homework and being the best advocate you can be.

[Manda]

43.

Well done with the self control, I wouldnt have been able to hold back, personally.

I thought you were being funny when you wrote "even though it's all a whopping pain in the ass" because I misread retinal scan as RECTAL scan.

With the myriad of bizarre procedures you've endured, a bum test doesnt seem much more out of place than an eye test :P

[Mimi]

44.

Cec -- Is Dr. Mama his real name? If yes, then I've met Dr. Asshole ("well, if you even make it to 37 weeks, we'll induce you" -- said to me at 16 weeks with a history of mild hypertension well-controlled with meds). Grrrr.

Sorry to hear there's another dog in the practice. Have you seen Dr. Debbs in Maternal Fetal Medicine? He's a real gem!

Hang in there, babe!

Mimi

[maia]

45.

Gawd... Good for you for standing up for yourself. During my first labor I was tortured by the on-call Dr from the practice my doctor worked in. Bastard. As luck would have it he went off shift before my son was born. Too bad it took me so long to grow a spine, that asshole should have gotten a mouthful!!

[MD]

46.

I think that many doctors (myself included sometimes) wish google could not search for medical information. While I think it is very importnat to be informed and educated and self advocate you wouldn't believe the amount of misinformation from "credible sources". It is very difficult to explain to patients that not everyhting they read is true and that just because it shows a percent increase in healthy outcomes does not make it statistically significant. I can understand his hesitancy about the aspirin as it is still considered experimental. The problem with multi-practice offices is that many Docs do not share the same opinion on controversial medicine and therefore end up contradicting each other. Clearly Dr. Asshole's problem is communication. I think he needs a little lesson in empathy and a better bedside manner. You deserve to have all of your questions answered. Nowadays, OB's (due to malpractice etc) are leaving the field solely to do GYN and the riffraff seems left behind to care for the patients. I hope you have an uneventful and healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby despite the difficulties with the Docs. What will you do if Dr Asshole is scheduled the day you deliver? i don't think they offer you a choice (not sure how their practice orks)

[juliejulie]

47.

what i would give to be a fly on the wall at your appointments....

[Robyn]

48.

After my RE released me at about 10 weeks pregnant, I remember my OB didn't want me to continue taking baby aspirin either, but went along with it anyway, due to a prior loss. The OB also didn't believe in progesterone suppositories etc, but I continued on them as recommended by the RE. It was very frustrating having such a difference of opinions. I did my own research and also have a medical degree from Google lol
After spending my last 11 weeks pregnant in the hospital, I learned that you have to be your own best advocate! Good for you for sticking to your guns!
I loved using my rented at home doppler, except I think I used it at least 4 times a day- a bit excessive I know!

[Melessa]

49.

"And exactly how many research papers on Preeclampsia have you done, motherfucker?"

I SO wish you had actually said this!

[Sarah]

50.

For my first pregnancy, my OB told me I didn't need to meet the other doctors in the parctice because he delivers all his own babies. Yeah right. He was on call when I started labor and sent me to the hospital. But the next doc on call actually saw me and decided I need the c-section for the breech presentation. The one I asked my doctor about maybe a week before and he decided was not breech. Lovely. (No, she didnt move. She had been pretty much locked in place for several weeks. Her hips dilocated and her butt was engaged. So for the palpatating, she "felt" head down.)

I switched doctors for the second pregnancy. She was great and has been great with post-partum stuff too. She shakes my hand every visit. She listens. She is still slow, but not measurably by hours unless she is delivering a baby. (And she admits that there is another doctor who takes a rotation with her patients).

It is hard to balance polite with right. Best of luck.

[susan]

51.

It's an epidemic--these asshole doctors. My favorite is when they speak to me as if I am just out of highschool-- and have absolutely no idea of how to get pregnant. I probably know almost as much as they do. I feel like I should preface all appointments with: "I have two degrees, I am hyper-literate and prefer that you speak to me as a quasi-colleague rather than as a pre-pubescent girl who is not even sure where her vagina is located."

FUCKERS!!

[spit]

52.

I fucking HATE Dr's like him! And I've had more than my share, too.
My most recent GI Dr. is this way. He only sent me for the gastric emptying study because I refused to believe that after eating for 37 years I all of a sudden started swallowing air and that's what caused the horrible belching I was having. He said "well, there is one other cause but I don't think that's what you have". He found out I do reception work as part of my job and decided I swallowed air when I was on the phone. So, I have the study and lo and behold, wouldn't you know it, I have gastroparesis. When he told me that I asked about the ultrasound he also sent me for and he didn't even remember that I'd had that done! He had to rush out and check the computer. Turns out I have a gall stone, too.
The medicine for gastroparesis has the lovely side effect of causing suicidal thoughts in some people so I have refused to take it based on my past history of depression and alcoholism. No less than 3 Dr's have assured me that "oh, that hardly ever happens, you should try it and see. Most people just get facial tics, I've never had a patient kill themselves while taking it". Fuck you asshole, you paying for my funeral? You take the shit and see what happens!

I hope Dr. Mama comes back soon!

[Jessica]

53.

C - this has got to be so frustrating for you....I am so sorry that you had to endure this jerk.

On a lighter note, I love the "Google Medical Degree" - too cute!

[Lana]

54.

What a dumb ass! I hate Dr.'s like that. Makes you wonder how in the hell they even have any patients. I think I have told you, but not sure, so I will take a chance at boring your ass off... I have 3 DD's. I had Pre-C with the first, Took baby asprin and calcium with the second at the dr.'s orders.Had no Pre-C with her. Then with PG#3 I asked the Dr about taking the asprin and she said well there is no proof that works.(This was the same DR that put me on it the first time.) I endded up with Pre-C At 34 weeks and she was born 3 weeks early, So I choose to believe that it did have some effect on preventing Pre-C in my second pg... There was a Dr in the office I refused to see and wasn't shy about letting the receptionist (and everyone there ) know it!!!

[Leggy]

55.

I don't know Cecily- you aren't making want to run out and sign up to see Dr. Mama. He sounds great, but what if I get stuck with Dr. Asshole or Dr. Dismissive? Any other good ones there?
Anyway, I'm sorry you had to endure such a jerk.

[ccw]

56.

I was going to comment and say that reading this made me feel so lucky that I have an OB that I love at a solo practice so the wait is usually none or minimal. However, she dumped me today, so at 23 weeks I am OB hunting.

[Shelli]

57.

First let me say that your "Google medical degree" statement made me laugh my ass off.

It is completely unprofessional and let me assure you that the nurses hate it just as much as you do. They know who the idiot dr's are and they still have to act like every dr is the best dr on earth. I am sorry you have to deal with the assholes and the indifferents. (It sounds like a cartoon.:))

[Amy]

58.

You know, I adore my OB and trust her beyond measure. Yet, I found -- especially during my second pregnancy -- that I was often more informed than she was on the latest research regarding pre-natal testing and other issues. That said, when it came to delivering both of my children (which she did herself), and especially my son, who had a very difficult and scary labor, she was amazing and knew exactly what to do. So I decided that OBs really focus on the labor and delivery part, as that's the one area that their expertise comes into play. So much of the rest of pregnancy, especially first trimester issues, are so beyond their control, not to mention beyond the full understanding of medicine, that I think they just don't focus on them. Which I think is why so much of the first and second trimester pre-natal care (prior to viability) is simply focused on routine check ups and testing for basic conditions, as were complications to develop, there's little they can do with respect to a baby.

Anyway, doesn't excuse the guy being an asshole, which he sure seemed to be. Hopefully you'll get Dr. Mama when it comes time for delivery!

[Melissa]

59.

Fucking doctors.

[Elena]

60.

Hi Cecily,

I'm glad you're into doing research. You might be interested in my picks for childbirth reading. Most of this is natural birth related, but I think all information is power and the more info you have the better choices you can make. Here's the link:

http://mydomesticchurch.blogspot.com/2005/04/when-my-daughters-have-babies.html

Enjoy!

Elena

[shelli]

61.

I have google medical degree too!

How cool is that!

(LOVE THE TERM)

[Anna]

62.

why can't we rate doctors the way we rate, say, cameras and printers on amazon.com? and then any doc with an overall rating below, say, two stars gets banned from medical practice, for a year, or forever, or whatever.

oh, but patient "opinions" can't dictate physicians' success or failure....

yay for you for standing up to Dr. Dismissive!

[Kinneret]

63.

You are NOT a nightmare patient. I wasn't going to say anything but the more I thought about it, the more steamed I got. Don't blame yourself!
You are an educated and intelligent woman, who has gone through hell and has a reasonable expectation of good care and feedback.

The doc is an asshole, no ifs ands or buts.

I see a clear winner in that contest. Hurry back, Dr Mama!

[Mrs Aginoth]

64.

Well done for knowing your stuff & standing your ground. with my first preganancy I meekly accepted what th idiot Dr's said, even when I knew they were wrong. Hence many, many problems with the pregnancy & birth. After he was born, they said "well, what do you know, you were right all along"

By my third pregnancy I just refused to leave the hospital during one appointment till the idiot dr went away & allowed me a second opinion from a listening dr. It took nearly an hour of arguing, but I finally got another dr, and he actually listened to me, about my circumstances, history & knowledge, rather than just repeating medical textbooks at me.

Grrrr. we should be able to rely on Doctors. They're the professionals who see 1000's preganancies a year. We're all amateurs new to the game. It's not right.

OK, rant over.

[Jessica]

65.

Sorry about your experiences. I'm a doctor, and I love informed patients. Honestly. In fact, I keep prodding the poor dears that DO what me to make all the decicions for them until they get quite disconcerted. Because, you know, no one knows a child like the parents, and they usually have good instincts. But I'm a Ped, and we're a weird bunch. :)

[elayne]

66.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was a military dependent, so I saw whoever was there to see - no selection, no options, no nothing. You could see who they assigned you, or you could leave (and if you left too many times, they'd suspend your care entirely, and you could only be seen in the emergency room). I'd gained about 11 pounds in the first six months of pregnancy, then fell and - we would discover much later - ruptured a disk in my back. I was in exquisite pain, couldn't move without assistance, was sobbing with pain, for weeks on end... and the nurses told me "Oh, but dear, you're pregnant! Your back is GOING to hurt!" The doctor told me to take Tylenol and walk for exercise. I LITERALLY could not walk and breathe at the same time because of the pain.

As a result of not being able to move, I started gaining weight - gained a total of 60 pounds by the time I delivered, so about 50 pounds in the last three months. I wasn't happy about it, but I couldn't see many options. My regular doctor was out one day when I came in for a checkup (~34 weeks) and told me I needed to "go on a diet" or face a C-section, because I was "gaining so much weight that the baby won't be able to come out, because of all the fat blocking the opening of the vagina." I am 6' tall and at that time, weighed about 200 pounds. I was too stunned to say anything at that moment, but I STILL want that man dead.

////Cecily - pats on the shoulder to you, hope you give those other doctors what-for and have a great delivery with Dr. Mama. Then go back and kick the other doctors' asses.

[Lena]

67.

You are so right. Do not EVER take a doctor's word for it. And the ironic thing is, the older they are, the less experienced they are in up to date information. Do they just stop caring? I too had eclampsia and have done 3 years of research (probably more than Dr. No Tact). Aspirin has had the most promise in studies, especially with women who have normal blood pressure pre-pregnancy.

Best of luck to you! BTW, you crack me up.:)

Cheers!

[Sunny]

68.

So here is to all the medical morons. My Dr. Professor in Anatomy and Physiology this last semester told the class about how she "was on the pill and could STILL feel it when she ovulates every month" Um, yeah...okay. So, how much more of what she taught me should I question?

[Kristie]

69.

I'm wishing you the best of luck on this pregnancy; your blog has truly struck a chord.

[lyns]

70.

In the craziness of all the responses...just a quick thought...can you switch to another practice??? If you aren't happy with a high % of the docs you HAVE to see..is it worth it to stay where you are so unhappy and stressed out... Can you request to ONLY see Dr. Mama... I am at a practice now where I only saw the MD twice and the rest of the time midwives... i DO NOT know the ins and outs of a high risk pregancy...so please forgive my ignorance... but the last thing you need is to be stresed out when you are going to the MD's office...this is supposed to be a happy time...not a time for doctors to make you feel bad...

[Wendy]

71.

I'm sorry you have to deal with such jerky drs. I'm glad baby is doing well though.

[Anne]

72.

24 hour pee collection - ah fun times I tell ya!

Like Margie I was drinking a lot of fluids and filled my first jug long before 24 hours were up and on my second time around I almost filled my second jug as well. Nothing like a fridge filled with pee jugs to make you laugh in the morning.

As much as a pain in the as the 24 hour collection is on the bright side it will be nice to have a base line. (currently I'm all about looking on the bright side although Dr. Dick Dismissive would seriously try my resolve)

[Katalyst]

73.

UGH, Cecily! UGH!!! I had a doc like that when I first went in, pregnant with my daughter. I had severe pre-e with my first and had read that it can present itself in secondary pregnancies too. I was BLOWN OFF when I asked about it and then when he did the Doppler, he never even pointed out the baby's heartbeat! UGH- I WAS PISSED.

Man, I wish you had laid into him. That would have been amusing for my sake, at least ;)

[Kate]

74.

Ugh, the 24 hour pee collection is the worst. Nothing like a big, fat container of piss in your fridge. Just don't let Charlie mistake it for apple juice.

[chris]

75.

"That's voodoo"? How do you keep from kicking him in the balls?

[Alex]

76.

Wow. Just...wow. And not in a good way.

For those reading who have found good, or bad, doctors, I have recently found a website that tries to serve the function of allowing patients to post their opinion of physicians: http://www.rateMDs.com. I don't know how complete its coverage is, but seems like a good idea to me and the more of us who use it, the more useful it will become.

[sarah]

77.

I think you need a PSYCHIATRIST, not a reproduction specialist.

[Dr T]

78.

Hey! Greetings from the UK, where I am a primary care physician.

Lucky for you you didn't come to me with that attitude.

heh heh...

Dr T

[Leo]

79.

I came across this and it just ticked me off. It's regarding the amount of time people have to wait in the waiting rooms.

Because almost NONE of you are doctors, you have no idea how damn stressful the job is. Both of my parents are doctors, and I get to know why the wait in the waiting room takes so long. I believe it's because there are patients already being seen by the doctors! There are problems that take more than freaking 2 minutes. Have you ever noticed how long YOUR time in the examination room is? Sometimes it's fast. Sometimes it's slow. But, hell, YOU have a problem that needs to be treated. If doctors took freaking 2 minutes per patient, NOTHING would be accomplished apart from a few accusations of malpractice from the patients. Just imagine going to doctor's office and knowing you might have cancer, then the doctor just says, "Have some Tylenol". THAT is a doctor who doesn't take the TIME to fully understand what the patient's problem is.
Listen to this story: My mother was seeing a patient of hers, Mrs. X, who had come in to get her blood pressure checked. So, she brought out the sphygmomanometer and took the test. Mrs. X was normal. On her way out of the door, the patient then said, "Oh, doctor, I also have this lump on the back of my leg that I thought I should show you. So, my mother lets Mrs. X back into the room, examines the lump, and Whoop-dee-doo! Guess what! It turned out to be a cancerous tumour growing in plain sight.

The fact that my mother took the extra time to examine this patient means that she just saved someone's life.

I'm extremely enraged due to the fact that selfish people are complaining about the wait to get into the doctor's office. If you have a problem that's worth the wait, JUST WAIT! This person you're going to see is there to HELP you.

Now quit complaining about the freaking wait in the waiting room.

[Jennifer]

80.

Loved your comments, fully entertaining! Found out an hour ago that I also suffer with motherfucker and am keeping my fingers crossed that the 4th time is a charm. (I will be taking my baby aspirin, indeed.)

[Ash]

81.

Wow. Someone as obstinate as you would probably disregard this comment or more likely chuckle at a chance to sink your fangs into something else, but you are a complete piece of human filth. Your weight indicates that you lack discipline. Your comment on being 'extremely educated' is screaming your insecurity.

You are NOT a Doctor.

You could never make it as a doctor (MD).

90 percent of doctors are douchebags. I know because I am a medical student. One that is going into the profession because he cares. Not because he has something to prove or would like more money. You are insulting the remaining 10 percent with your comments. Doctors are NOT gods, but they have earned the right to not take shit about their own profession from someone as weak, and useless as you.

[sizzle]

82.

Wow, what's with people ripping you a new one?

[Jenny, Bloggess]

83.

I think your patience with doctors changes after suffering losses. I was very laid back with my first pregnancy and didn't advocate for myself at all. Three miscarriages later I became a subject-matter expert and was sending my doctor studies on the blood disease I have and questioning her a lot. She was nothing but kind and appreciative and realized that since so little was known about this disease that cost me so much that she needed to tread carefully and be open to what I could offer as a patient willing to do research and it made a world of difference to me. You're entitled to find a doctor who works well for you and if a caring bedside manner and ability to listen and seem empathetic are vitally important then you deserve to have them.

[Florencia]

84.

To everyone leaving nasty comments: BACK THE FUCK OFF!!! Do you really get a rise out of calling someone filth and useless? Dude, look in the goddamned mirror? YOU are being nasty to a person you do not know for sharing her experience on her blog. This is outrageous.

Cecily, I also have had two bad experiences with OB/GYN practices. I left the first one because I could not stand the way the doctors treated my concerns and couldn't imagine giving birth with their unfriendly faces there, making me feel inadequate. I am a paying customer and deserve to be treated with respect. Sorry it is soooo hard to be a doctor, and sooo stressful. Boo-fucking-hoo. So the new practice was OK at first and they delivered my daughter but I have not gone back in a year. You are right on, you have got to be your best, most fierce advocate, do not let these douchebags commenting here bother. Just delete their hateful words. It's your right. Keep writing, MOST of us readers enjoy it!

[Florencia]

85.

And that's why I love the Bloggess! Amen! What she said!

[The Aitch]

86.

Ash stands for: A Slimy Human

[Jerri Ann]

87.

Yo Leo........you know what the problems is...I've worked for doctors aplenty...the problem is that the schedule book is written in 15 minute increments and they schedule 3 or more patients in each 15 minute increment. That means they plan to see each patient for 5 minutes and at the exact same time...hummmm you do the math. If one patient needs more than 5 minutes which is all they are allotted under the 3 patients per every 15 minute block, then the doctor gets behind.

Then, guess what, someone comes in with an emergency and there is no room for that person to seen but it is an emergency so they see them any way...and then.....that means none of the 3 people in that 15 minute time slot gets seen at that time, so now the doc is behind by 3 patients.

And, now, if that emergency patient takes more than 5 minutes which in reality belonged to someone else, you've got the doctor at least 4 people behind but more likely 5 or 6.
Now, it is just 9 AM and the doc is already 6 patients behind.

Finally, what happens if that doc made rounds at the hospital that morning and didn't make it to the hospital at 8 like he/she was suppose to, say he gets there at 8:15 or worse 8:15, now we have the doctor 12 patients behind plus the emergency person.

Ut oh, another emergency at 11 at the hospital and let's assume he/she had only spent the allotted 5 minutes with each patient in the 15 minute slot and he/she is now just 12 patients behind but he/she has to go to the hospital.

Now, he/she is gone to the hospital for an hour. Now his the original 12 plus the 12 that were scheduled in the 11, 11:15, 11:30 and 11:45 slots.

Ok, so he skips lunch to try to catch up, but he/she still has to eat and so does his nurses. That way, he only takes 30 minutes for lunch. So, it is 12:30 and he is 24 patients behind.

The office is open so the nurses rotate eating lunch and try to get patients in rooms. But, he only had 3 rooms, so now we have a doctor who is working at 12:30 with 24 patients to see before the scheduled 3 every 15 minutes starts up again at 1.

You see, I am no doctor, I am no nurse but I've worked in the offices as a lab tech and an xray tech and it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that scheduling 3 patients every 15 minutes is the damn problem in the first place....that is not the problem of the patient, that's the doctor's greed and disrespect for his patients!

There, I've been wanting to say that for a long time but never seen a post that just begged for it, but the comments on this post most definitely were begging for someone to remind everyone of that little piece of the puzzle.

[Charlie]

88.

Ash - Hell of a bedside manner, Dr. Mengele. I can only hope that the med student process weeds you out.

Cec - Well, he kinda makes your point (and supports my long held belief) that docs dislike patients, don't listen, etc. So I guess you should thank him.

[Dr. Proficiency]

89.

I think you are not well educated at all. Ridiculous instead.

[Dr. Proficiency]

90.

Moreover, you are far, far from being a writer. You are a writing woman.

[John]

91.

I know this post is pretty old, but you sound like a bitch. Your attitude (and your "Google Medical Degree") are such a detriment to the practice of medicine that I had a hard time finishing reading your post. Any clue why it takes 4 years before they'll let you into a 3-7 year residency? Because it takes 4 years before a 3-7 year residency until you are remotely competent enough to understand science.

The most dangerous thing physicians can imagine is a patient like you going off half-cocked because she read a "study" or two about pre-eclampsia in some less-than-reputable journal using some bogus stats to "prove" a weak correlational link so that they could get published.

How presumptuous are you to think that you understand medicine, errors, p-values, and cohorts than somebody who actually went to school for it?

In all genuine seriousness, I wish you the very best... because I have an scientific and moral interest in yours and others' health. But for godsakes, do some research and get a degree before you decide you know everything.

[Chill]

92.

Aspirin in preeclampsia IS a bunch of quack. What type of study is it? Is it a case series? Randomized controlled? Retrospective review? Or do you even know the difference between them? 12% reduction? Is it absolute reduction? Relative reduction? What's the number needed to treat? Or do you even know the difference between those things?

I love patients who want learn about their disease and take an active part in it. I hate patients who read some crap on the internet and think they know it all. You can find anything you want on the internet. Case in point, there are hundreds of websites dedicated to not-immunizing your kids. Let's ignore the overwhelming evidence of millions of children saved from vaccines. These websites will throw "evidence" at you about seizures and autisms...non of which has ever been validated.

If you guys hate doctors, then stay away. Trust me, I NEVER worry that there won't be enough patients (why do you think the waiting room is always so full?). If the arrogant know-it-alls stay away, there will be more time per patient, and it's a win-win-win situation. Just don't come back when you realize "your way" caused you more harm then good.

[d]

93.

oh my god,you sound like the most unreasonable patient ever.

[George]

94.

YOu know what, don't teach physicians what to do and what to recommend. You have no f-ing idea what you are talking about and how to interpret studies. Just because a study is published does not mean you with your google MD can understand what it means. DO what the real MD says and you'll be well.

[A. Mason]

95.

I like your blog. But I must say that your use of profanity almost surely threw the Doctor off. It seems that he started the encounter with the intention of being kind and accommodating but that changed after your MTHFR comment (which was very funny by the way).