Sometimes only (unsalted) french fries will help...

...when you find yourself on the phone screaming at an out-sourced customer service representative who works for Pay Pal.

I was attempting to pay for something I'd purchased from eBay, and Pay Pal didn't want to accept my credit card. The credit card I didn't need because I had money already in my Pay Pal account. When I found myself banging the phone and starting to cry because EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE USES PAY PAL EASILY WHY CAN'T I, I remembered, ooooooooooh right.

I'm pregnant.

Definitely feeling more and more pregnant each day. Boobs are motherfucking giant, and now weigh roughly 12,000 pounds each. Nausea isn't bad, but it is there, simmering under the surface of everything. Been worse the last two days. Hence the french fries; the snack I was supposed to eat made me gag, but some lovely cafeteria french fries sounded GREAT. Sigh. At least I didn't let them fill up my whole plate.

I did manage to join the YMCA, and swam for the first time on Saturday for an hour. I mostly just bobbed around the deep end, but I did do some circular laps and a lot of walking. The pool was pretty empty (it was "recreational" time rather than "lap/water walking" time), and it felt nice to float around the deep end. Been a long time since I was in a nine-foot-deep pool.

The water-walkers apparently use buoyancy belts, to which I say HA! I float so well I have a hard time getting underwater; my boobs float into my face and desperately attempt to resurface. If we are all on a sinking ship and there are no life jackets, just GRAB MY BOOBS AND WE WILL ALL SURVIVE.

I'm hoping I will be able to go to the pool again tomorrow morning. I will have to go to bed earlier than I did last night; some motherfucking idiot at ABC decided to show a NEW episode of Gray's Anatomy AFTER the fucking football game (the passion with which I absolutely LOATHE football is unmatched, I assure you). Since it is my fave new show, of COURSE I stayed up to watch it and didn't get to sleep until after 1 am. Bastards. Seriously, though, it is a great show--completely unrealistic and silly, yet still some of the best writing I've seen on TV in a while--and some of the best character development too (does anyone remember Christine shrieking at her friends as she cried after losing a tube to an ectopic pregnancy "SOMEONE SEDATE ME!!!" It was perfect).

Anyway. We're at $743 for the Geoffrey collection, and I'm pleased to announce that the church council HAS voted to maintain Geoff at his current salary for another year. We still have a lot of work to do to resolve the church's financial crisis, but  everyone seems pretty energized about it now. Thank you so much for your support! I really appreciate it. I'll pull the tip jar down at the end of the day tomorrow, so last chance to donate! Here Download fallen_snow.GP01.MP3 is the last piece of Geoffrey music I promised.

And because I can't end a post without mentioning politics, remember when a bunch of you asked me why I thought Bush's newest nominee for the Supreme Court was a scary motherfucker? Bitch PhD has an excellent breakdown that explains it. Enjoy!

Comments

[Lut C.]

1.

Lol, built-in life-jacket :-) I'll just stick close to you then next time we're on a sinking ship.

It's good to hear you're doing well.

[Sarah]

2.

I got first dibs on the boobie life preservers!
Oh wait, second dibs. I guess Charlie gets first. Okay, he can have the right one and I get the left one.

I'm disturbing myself now. I think I'll stop.
XO

[Susan]

3.

OMG, I can't stop laughing at the mental picture...jumping ship and looking to hold onto your boobs for dear life!

Missed Gray's Anatomy...:-(

Thanks for the link to Bitch PhD, very interesting.

[Heatherg]

4.

I wish i had floating boobs.
Hell, i wish i had boobs.

[j]

5.

Swimming is the best exercise when you are pregnant. And not to add yet another theory on pre-e prevention to the mix, when I had PIH during my twin pregnancy, I read everything I could get my hands on on the various ways to prevent pre-e. One study I read had found a positive effect from immersion in water for controlling blood pressure. They were talking about total body immersion up to the neck, but I took this as an excuse to soak in long baths both morning and night. Any excuse, right? So swimming, even just floating around, could be really good for you.

Hope the nausea stays away.

[Melody]

6.

Love Gray's anatomy too. SADLY, I have NO permenant floatation devices....Bummer.

[Menita]

7.

So basically you just wanted to flaunt your big boobs in front of all of us, correct?

[Rosemary Grace]

8.

The people who can't fit on your boobs could grab my ass as a spare flotation device.

[Rosemary Grace]

9.

Jeez, I just offered for the internet to grab my ass. I either need more coffee, or way less coffee.

If it makes you feel any better, I screw up with paypal regularly, and I'm not pregnant.

[wix, of the not-even-a-C-while-nursing tribe]

10.

"I float so well I have a hard time getting underwater; my boobs float into my face and desperately attempt to resurface."

okay, i gotta see that. i'll even send the underwater-friendly disposable camera.

[sara]

11.

LOL! My breasts are like a Mae West; they tend to cause me to float upright rather than on my back, and it makes swimming front crawl more challenging because when I rotate for air they want to rotate me all the way over.

On the other hand, one gets more exercise because they count as Drag.

Glad to hear Geoffrey is secure for awhile; a good church musician is worth above rubies.

[MFA Mama]

12.

LMAO...my haunches float pretty well, although in a shipwreck scenario that would leave me floating face-down...figures. PayPal = bastards. I'm amazed you found a phone number.

[Lori Herrington]

13.

Cecily,

I can't use Paypal either, I forgot my password, and when I set up the account it was an older email. Now Paypel won't let me log on new and only sends the password to my old account which I can no longer access. Its frustrating, and I end up forwarding links from Ebay to my hubby asking him to buy them for me.

So your not alone - though until I read your post I thought I was,

Pay Pal Sucks!

on the boob front, you just wait till your milk comes in - and they are not only huge but ROCK HARD! - you're going to love it. I understand you don't want congrats yet, but i'm rooting for you and all appropriate body parts are crossed for you.

Cheers
Lori

[Ninotchka]

14.

I'm loving GA too! The swimming sounds divvy.

[Amanda B.]

15.

Thankyou for the sweet comment. You are beautimous!!

[Eve]

16.

Bitch PhD definitely has a great list of all the various reasons this man is bad, bad, bad.

A few thoughts:

1) Re: wives notifying their husbands before having an abortion... so according to "Scalito" we have to ask men's permission to do something that is already legal for us to do...? NO THANKS!

2) Some other important aspects of the Ayotte [NH] case... (1) government lawyers are arguing that the law "does" have a "health exception" because the teenage girl can get a court order to have her abortion if her health is endangered or if she can't fulfill the parental notification part of the statute because of that. So now, "health emergency" is a determination a judge makes. And, I'd be interested in an estimation of how long these judicial determinations will take on Saturdays and Sundays. Supposedly, a judge is to be "on call" 24-7, but I still find it hard to believe that the process will work perfectly every time. (2) Government lawyers are arguing that even if the law is flawed because of the "health emergency" non-exception, it should not be stricken down based on a "hypothetically medically-endangered teenage girl." Rather, government lawyers would have us wait for an ACTUALLY health-endangered teenage girl to be denied her abortion or worse, and then SHE can bring the case to challenge the law. Because a lot of pregnant teenage girls have total access to the judicial system, right? And, hello, the case becomes moot [theoretically] in 9 months or less... and how many cases get tried and heard fully in nine months?

Luckily, I've heard that whoever is actually appointed to SCOTUS will probably be appointed too late to hear Ayotte. We can only hope.

[Shelli]

17.

Sara--"LOL! My breasts are like a Mae West; they tend to cause me to float upright rather than on my back, and it makes swimming front crawl more challenging because when I rotate for air they want to rotate me all the way over.

On the other hand, one gets more exercise because they count as Drag."

OMG! Laughing my ass off!

Cecily...I love Gray's, too! Do you watch Desperate Housewives, too? I have to disagree with the anti-football comment, though. Huge Vikings (yah, I know sex scandal and all) fan! Tivo works great in those situations.

NBHHY! Wahoooo!

[DD]

18.

First let me say I'm envying the nausea and sore, big boobs, but not necessarily YOUR nausea and YOUR big boobs! Ha!

I also loved swimming while pg. My friend and I would use our pregnancies as an excuse to just float during the water-aerobics class as we were too exhausted to actually do anything.

BTW: there should be a master list of IF blog acronyms. I know NBHHY, but LMAO? WTF.

[Melanie (Phila)]

19.

Paypal has been driving me nuts lately too.

And until now I'd chosen to believe that my lovely floating abilities were a reflection of my great skill and ability to relax. Thanks for bursting that bubble.

[Carmen]

20.

OMG, Cecily. Are you certain we aren't twins separated at birth? The only boobs bigger than your are probably mine, and I can't swim worth a damn now.

Grey's Anatomy is my very fav. I LOVE that show, but it makes getting up at 6 on Monday soooo hard.

NBHHY. Can that be your new motto?

[j @ rta]

21.

I LOVE Grey's Anatomy. Last night's episode was awesome.

[Ellen]

22.

Got my own built-in boob lifejacket, but thanks for offering to share. ;) I've been hoping I could give mine away, myself, but alas, it's harder to give away floation devices than you'd think. And they didn't even work for breast feeding. Pisses me off.

And I LOVE Grey's Anatomy. It's so funny - you look at the opening and you think it's going to be half medicine, half, glamor, and it's so not, but the personal aspects are so well done. Even when it's completely predictable, it's still fantastic. How much do you love Bailey? She rules the universe. Last week it was my local team in the late night spot so I had to wait up till 1 (after the football game, the news, AND the local post-game show) - frustrating, but so worth it.

[baseballmom]

23.

I remember when the nausea was "simmering" with our first baby, I was always so happy that I didn't get sick, but then we were spending the night with some people my husband knows in SF during a trip (saving money ya know) and I coughed really hard in their kitchen and puked all over their whole drying rack of clean dishes. Thank God no one else was in there. I re-washed them and no one knew! Swimming was the BEST when pregnant, it relieved so much pressure when everything was floating, including the giant boobages.

[Mimi]

24.

I remembered, ooooooooooh right.

I'm pregnant.

How wonderful to hear you say this!
Wishing you and your buoyant pals lived next door!

[maia]

25.

So glad you have been making it to the pool. Isn't the buoyancy factor wonderful? I love feeling so weightless, the only thing I enjoyed in my last month of pregnancy with my son.

SO happy you are indeed pregnant again. Still so surprised it all happened so fast. BTW for my last pregnancy the big massive craving was for a burger, fries and gravy at a local diner. I loved that damned combo so much I would haul my huge pregnant bod there all too frequently!

[car]

26.

Laughing about the fries - when I was pregnant, I was nauseous, constantly, 24/7, never quite enough to throw up, but it was always there, and the only thing that settled my stomach was.... hash browns. From my work cafeteria. I alternated between the ladlefull of melted butter and ketchup as condiments(at least I didn't do them both at once). Must be something about those potatoes!

[car]

27.

Sorry about the double post - I hit enter, it said error, I hit it again because I didn't have the patience to wait it out.

[Sarah L]

28.

When pay pal is good, she is very good, and when she's bad, she's evil.
My poor technology challenged mother got into some mess with Pay Pal a year ago and I had to call and work it out, I was so exhausted by the end. I wished I'd slammed the phone against the desk!
The pool sounds lovely.
Sarah

[Cath]

29.

So sorry your mammaries are hurting hun :)
We just got season 2 of Greys Anatomy here in the UK and i'm loving it!

[Melissa]

30.

Someone I always knew that you were a woman after my own heart despite any differences of opinion we might have--you hate football too!!

I will read Bitch Phd's analysis. I also thought this piece in Slate expanded and explained my problems with Alito based on his opinion that the spousal notification requirement is constitutional.

http://www.slate.com/id/2129321/

[Calliope]

31.

Gray's Anatomy is the cat's pj's. In addition to CNN "American Morning', it is one of those great shows that you can yell at.
Kudos to you for getting to the Y. Last week I also vowed to hit the pool, but when I showed up I discovered it was closed for two weeks for repairs. I am now convinced that the Universe prefers my fat ass.
Hope you feel better soon!

[Dana]

32.

another GA addict here!

swimming feels fantastic when you are pregnant (and teee heee you ARE!) enjoy!

[Heather]

33.

Good deal on joining the Y - and I am totally with you on the gi-normous boobs. Mine are in the same category.

And I LOVE Grey's Anatomy - Christine is awesome, love it. The dialog rocks, especially hers. I am pissed, however, that my DVR somehow did not record all of Sunday's episode, so I'll have to rely on TWoP. GRRR!!!! (The only part I saw was the ending, and Alex coming into the bar and kissing Izzie - awesome :).

[Jamie]

34.

Omigosh the pool description is hilarous. I have the same problem. I couldn't sink if i wanted to!!

[sally]

35.

Sorry I dislike Grey's Anatomy, more a law and order person myself. Trouble with medical shows is, it turns into a hypochondriac, you start to identify with the patients symptoms, and think you are dying. Also they tend to get depressing.