While We Wait...again.

The Aitch just fucking rocks, don't she? I love me my new look. Nice to have a change. But on to my current condition of "pregnant until proven otherwise" or PUPO.

I'm truly astonished how relaxed I am about this whole thing. It all feels so surreal--how could we possibly be getting pregnant again already? How could it possibly work out? How could it not?

I'm a little worried about the fact that I took nothing remotely like the bedrest I'm supposed to. I lay about most of yesterday, but I did go to a meeting last night (it was Sarah's anniversary meeting!). Today I'm at work, although I am refraining from any heavy lifting and stuff, I'm definitely upright.

But I didn't do bedrest all that well last time either.

I do feel remarkably better than I did the last time I took any hormones. Part of that is the low dose (just 200mg of progesterone suppositories twice a day and two estrace pills a day), I guess. Part of it is just having all that time artificial-hormone free.

Now, if only I could stop having my estrogen-related afternoon headaches. Arg, they really suck. Bad.

I don't remember how to fill the two week waiting period. So far, all I've come up with so far is this:

--obsessively clicking here to see if the "next big thing" has been revealed

--repeatedly coming up with new ways to ask these tarot cards if I'll get pregnant

--refraining from googling anything for any reason whatsoever

Any suggestions? Maybe now is a good time to do that thing where you all ask me questions and I answer them again? Cause we have a LONG FUCKING TIME until October 24.

Comments

[Lonna]

1.

I have been a quiet reader of yours for a long time... Just wanted to let you know I am thinking very positive thoughts for you and Charlie.

[may]

2.

i am quietly wishing all the best for you (i am dead tired and noisy wishing is not possible).

i wish i had a question but i didn't sleep well last night and my brain is mush. i'm sure someone will come up with something great....well, i was wondering. do you do anything for halloween? any plans for dressing up?

[Mandy]

3.

So it is "symptom watch 2005". Every twinge, cramp, etc will be analyzed to the nth degree. I was obsessed with my ivllage message board...obsessing with other ladies in my same shoes..comparing notes on symptoms. I'm not recommending that..but it did take up a lot of the day at work when I should have actually been working. But how can you concentrate on work when you could have a baby growing inside you???

Do you do hpt's? I am a recovering HPT addict. Going thru my IUI's I tested every day after the 3rd day. Sometimes 2x's per day. Never got 2 lines so swore mine didn't work. So I swore off of the HPT's for IVF and waited for beta. It was maddening, but I managed.

You're one day closer! PUPO!

[Toni]

4.

Hey! Oct. 25 is my birthday. All I want for my birthday is for you to become pregnant. Poor Dan is not going to be happy about me keeping my legs crossed till then!

[Christine]

5.

Hey if you do any pregnancy tests, I wanted to tell you they sell them at the Dollar Store. Seriously. Two tests for $1. Next I wanted to tell you that if you *do* buy Dollar Store pregnancy tests, I don't know just how reliable they'd be. You know, like you're already bulging out from baby but the test still says negative, that kind of thing. And finally, while you're at the Dollar Store, will you pick me up a bag of that dark chocoate with the mint stuff in the middle 'cause I love those things. Thank you.

[Pomegranate]

6.

Another quiet reader wishing you all the morula mojo in the world.

[malin]

7.

Please please do bedrest properly. It is very important. More important than anything.

[Sandy]

8.

Question...question. Ok. Have you ever been to a real life psychic (noting your love of the tarot site) and if so, what was the wackiest reading? What was the reading you had that came the most true?

I'm not great at the question game....but I'll wait with ya and make up questions!

[Ann]

9.

Wishing you all the best during the dreaded 2ww. I have never been good at it so no advice here unfortunately.

[Wavery]

10.

No good suggestions anyways, but the new blog is perfection!

[Gawdessness]

11.

Me too, I have been obsessively clicking there too!

if you have never been check out the presurfer.com - it does keep me entertained for good long chunks of time.

[ms pickled eggs]

12.

Bed rest, at least according to every clinic in the UK, is totally unnecessary. Fibbing to your OH however, telling him that you're forbidden from doing housework, is completely necessary.

Wishing you every ounce of luck I can muster.

[krimojo]

13.

Ok question - maybe you cover this somewhere in your blog? How did you and Sarah meet? Was it at a meeting? How long have you been BFF?

Fingers crossed for you!

[martha]

14.

What part do you sing in choir? Before you started with this choir where did you sing before?

Oh, and I got 15 HPT's for $12 online. They are sensitive "early" tests. Let me know if you'd like the info! :)

[Korin]

15.

Pregnant until proven otherwise. I love it. I'm stealing it.
Again... I'm so hopeful for you!!!

[Kate]

16.

I just wanted to wish you and Charlie the best. I'm pleased to hear that you are so relaxed about it all so far. Keeping everything crossed for you!

[Jen (yup, another one)]

17.

I like the peace. Stick with the peace.

And "obsessively click here" cracked me the hell up. Of course, I did not need to click there to know what you meant! C'mon back, grrl, we're WAITING!!

As for a question or two: where would you go if you could travel anywhere (money no object)? When would you go if you could travel anyplace in time? And, who is your favorite Muppet?

[kath]

18.

For another time waster, try this online magic 8-ball.

http://www.resort.com/~banshee/Misc/8ball/

Hope the 2ww flies by.

[Anne]

19.

The 2ww sucks. I joined a message board where I could obsess over other people who were urinating in cups and on sticks and analyzing their results. And talking endlessly about how I was slowly losing my mind.

You'd think the BFP would stop that, but pregnancy makes you crazy too.

Hoping you're jumpin' on the crazy train!

[jill]

20.

Try this crazy train:

http://ticket2ridegame.com

Totally addictive java game, based on a European board game. Bored with playing? Eavesdrop on the German teenagers in the chatroom. 'Sfun.

[Rachel]

21.

Today Lucy wore a pink onesie, red socks, and pink converse tennis shoes. Way to rock the social norm, Lucy - putting red and pink together like that.

That's about all I have.

[Lisa]

22.

Here's a book recommendation for you:

"Home Land" by Sam Lipsyte

Very funny stuff:)

[wix]

23.

i'm gonna scold you about the bedrest. i know it's hard, believe me, i truly, truly know...but it is super important. why don't you make a list of books you've always intended to read that you'd like to read if you had unlimited time to lounge around and do nothing?

[Amy]

24.

Here's another good time waster... http://y.20q.net/anon?-Pj4Y1Y1Oq!PJSlsMJdA6buN3t

20q.net

Fun fun fun. Wherein you ask the question and the "thing" tried to guess it in 20 questions or less.

Oh yeah! Read a book. Be PUPO and Stay PUPO!! Hooray!!

[hotmama]

25.

Along with your Tarot cards ask The Magic Eight Ball. I used to go to the store every month for a year to ask itbif we were pregnant. Yes, I was to cheap to actually buy the damn thing. It told me both times that I was pregnant that I was. (I miscarried one) Even if not reaiable its fun.

Sending lots of good wishes and baby dust your way!!!!!

[wavybrains]

26.

I want to know more about how you and Charlie met.

Tough Question--but one I am insanely curious about--What will you tell your child(ren) about drinking/drugs/recovery?

Also, I loved your BJ post. Feel free to play Dr. Ruth again :P

Oh, and all the luck in the world.

[maia]

27.

Rest Cecily, rREST dammit! Take it easy will you? Curl up on that lovely (absolutely drool worthy) couch of yours as much as possible ok?

Questions for you. Dunno, looking forward to having some of the above ones answered! And yes, still waiting for shots of your house and if I must start a "Cecily needs a digi cam" drive I will ;). (Or anyone have an old one they can spare??)

Hmm, questions... AA meetings. Everyone I know who has a drinking problem insists they are not the 'joining' type. What was it like for you and Charlie when you started your journey with the organization? (And WHY don't they have similar for us addicted to nicotine??)

Sending nothing but the best vibes your way. The waiting sucks BIG TIME I know...

[pimlicogrid]

28.

I love this site for complete relaxation (but I'm a bit odd that way) - I buy these wonderful free range eggs and there is actually a webcam set up near the hen house so you can watch and listen to the hens running around in the fields all day. Sometimes there are ducks too - I find it very soothing (but again, that could just be me!!)

http://www.clarencecourt.co.uk/HenCam/

[Kim]

29.

Two words: retail therapy :)

You can even shop while on bedrest. Ain't the Internet wonderful?!

[Catherine]

30.

Favorite band/musician? Favorite album to listen to all the way through? Favorite song? Favorite song to sing/dance to? (Completely different question, of course.)

Favorite writer? Favorite poet? Favorite trashy writer? (Again, completely different question.)

Favorite movie? Favorite actor and actress? Favorite scene in a movie?

That oughta get you started. :)

[colette]

31.

My hopes are with you, too! Are you into the knitting? I'm a quilter myself, but all my gal pals luuurv the knitting to pass the time. If the crafting fails to satisfy, here are some fresh hot links:

http://www.ritsumei.ac.jp/~akitaoka/rotate-e.html

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=23426

And this always has something new and interesting, although I will warn you at least 25% of the time it's Seattle-specific:
http://www.thestranger.com/blog/

[kim]

32.

Ugh, I know how excrutiating the wait is. But, I'm glad you're feeling relaxed about it all, that's definitely a good thing. I'm sorry I don't have much to offer in the way of distraction--I'm looking for some myself. I'm, uh, waiting to wait, I guess (next week marks our second round of "trying" since my m/c in June), and I'm impatient already! I spend most of my (work) day online, lurking around blogs and message boards. I do have a thesis to write, but that's not much of a distraction since it actually requires some brain activity, and I'm sort of short on that these days ;) I hope the time passes quickly and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you...in the meantime I'll try to think of some distractions!

[runnerwoman]

33.

Don't worry about the bedrest. So many women conceive second or subsequent children via IVF when they're chasing after and holding 30 pound toddlers. Just listen to your body.

I've got my fingers crossed for you!

[karla]

34.

Here's a question I love to ask every couple I know. Do you remember the exact moment you knew Charlie was *THE ONE*? I remember the moment I knew and 15 years later it feels like yesterday. You and Charlie are such an interesting couple I just know you have a great "moment". I would love to hear Charlies version too.
All digits still crossed until October 24.:)

[SusieJ]

35.

This time last year you were (poetry?) editor of a local literary magazine, how'd that turn out?
White, milk or dark chocolate?
Have you had any animals other than cats and dogs?
What are you doing for Halloween? Will you dress up for work? Scare the neighbor kiddies?
Logo is fantastic, but I prefer the menus on the right side, so that when I surf at work (using a text browser), I don't have to scroll through all the links.

--SJ

[Angela]

36.

Congrats Sarah!

And waiting...well, we know you like tarot, have you tried I Ching? www.tarot.com ? Click on IChing on the top.

Or this is interesting: http://www.earthcalendar.net/index.php

This is always good for a laugh: http://stuffonmycat.com/

Feel like stalking LOL: http://www.melissadata.com/Lookups/index.htm

If you like puzzles:
http://www.dailysudoku.co.uk/

Like games?:
www.pogo.com
www.popcap.com
www.boxerjam.com

Quizzes?:
www.beliefnet.com particular like the quizzes and religion etiquette questions (I like seeing what people have asked to get to the FAQ part LOL)

Okay I'm sure I have more...but this should do for now.

[laura]

37.

I hear you! I'm in the 2ww, too, and it's agonizing! I did take advantage of the bedrest and laid around for a few days. I did the tarot card reading once, and it was so good that I refuse to do it again, just in case I might jinx myself. Pregnant until proven otherwise!! Love it!

[Debe]

38.

I hope the time flys by

[Diana]

39.

Long-time reader, first time posting was yesterday.
Bed-rest? who does that anymore? My real question is do they still recommend you lie flat on your back with legs in the air? hahaha-
Distractions- Bored.com,(self-explanatory) Gamerival.com (great time-wasting games)
i, too would be interested in hearing the answers about you & Charlie, the meeting--The "MOMENT"
Keeping prayers with you-

[Nancy]

40.

Hi cec
just wanted to wish u luck
i love PUPO
you are a brilliant and beautiful woman
and in my thoughts

nance

[Ellen]

41.

I tried this amazing recipe this past weekend, very season - pumpkin pie nog. It's not hard, but you do have to puree a pumpkin, and that's sort of time consuming. You can find the recipe on betterhomesandgardens.com if you're interested. I used a sugar pumpkin, btw, and found that V8 makes a peach mango smoothie (ingredient I thought I'd never find). I find that entertaining in general is a good way to pass the time. Maybe you could make a scrap book for Sarah? Either with stuff from her wedding, or stuff from her (most impressive) ten years of sobriety? Sorry to sound like Suzy Homemaker. That's all I got right now - other posters too all my good literary/pop culture questions.

[Peach]

42.

OHMIGOD CECILY! Have you seen "The Lovers" card in that Tarot deck you linked to? The woman is TOTALLY YOU right down to having an arm tattoo!!! And, as you are, she's gorgeous, too!

[Sol]

43.

Great to hear that you are so relaxed and PUPO. I did not do any bed-rest this time either, and even the heavy lifting thing... I did pick up Frankie up a few times right after transfer... I just could not resist his cuteness.

Suggestion for the 2ww: Retail therapy sounds like a good option to me. We purchased a bigger bed and some beautiful linens on the weekend before receiving the results, I figured that if I did not get a positive, at least I would cry on my very own brand new king-sized bed!

About your question over at Kath's blog: NBHHY stands for Nothing Bad Has Happened Yet! A term that Grrl invented.

Love to you, Charlie and the embies!

[tc]

44.

I'm so glad you're feeling better this time around! But it never hurts to rest as much as you can...

Headaches do suck hard. I have an acupressure trick that sort of works -- you make an L with your thumb and forefinger, and pinch the fleshy part at the extreme inside corner of the L. Not as good as downing six Advil at a time, but it might give some temporary relief.

Okay, so, questions for you... well, after hearing about Sarah's beautiful wedding, it prompts me to ask -- have you ever posted about what your and Charlie's wedding was like?

Also, whatcha been reading lately?

[MollieBee]

45.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9680098/

Oy Vey.

[Amy]

46.

This is my favorite new time waster: http://www.websudoku.com/?level=1
I am absolutely obsessed!

Questions, questions ... what's the hardest part of being sober? The best? If you had it to do over again, would you change the drinking/drug years of your life, or do you consider those experiences to be part of what makes you who/what you are?

Thinking of you during this 2WW!

[Queenie]

47.

I second this question: "What will you tell your child(ren) about drinking/drugs/recovery?" I've been thinking about it constantly since I found out I was pregnant--DH was a heroin addict when he was a teenager, but has been clean for many years. He was also married, very briefly, when he was young. I have no idea when, or if, to tell our child about these things, and I'd love to hear how someone else hopes to handle it.

[Jen (yup, another one)]

48.

Angela, thank you for the "stuff on my cat" website. You have saved my morning, because previously I was having one of those bleak "I don't think this will ever work" moments. And then... pizza on a cat.

[Sheri]

49.

First of all - I'd like thjank all of the commenters who posted links to some awesome sites. I didn't think it was possible for me to spend more time online.... now you've proven me wrong! lol

I agree with the commenter about the Dollar Store tests. I belong to many online communities of TTC women, and some of them swear by those tests. I mean really... an HPT for a $1? Can't beat that bargain. I know I'd be POAS every chance I got. I'm like that.

Patience vibes to you Cec - I've developed a mantra for you... gorw embie, grow embie etc...

Hugs!

[Sheri]

50.

oh yeah - my questions.

1. Your tattoo(s). What is the story behind them?

2. What was YOUR wedding to Charlie like?

3. Have youe ever had a card reading done and if so, what did you think of it?

[melissa]

51.

Been a quiet reader as well; wanted to send you my hopeful, helpful thoughts -- best of luck.

[sheilah]

52.

As for the bedrest thing, I wouldn't worry about it. IMNSHO, bedrest is just psychological...so if it fails we don't beat ourselves up.

In my (okay somewhat limited) experience, the time that I did go home and rest, I had a chemical pg. The next time (an FET), I drove myself to the transfer, rested for 30 minutes and then drove myself back into work where I put in the rest of my 8-hour day. The result of that transfer is now almost 3 years old. So don't beat yourself up about the bedrest thing.

Good luck. Hope this brings you the baby you and Charlie deserve. I think you two will make awsome parents.

[Julie]

53.

Well... if you are allowed to giggle like a 10 year old.. check out this site I found today. http://www.justinspace.com/obscene/oi1intro.html