Questions, Questions

Y'all gave me too many links to look at, and I've been too busy lookin' at 'em to answer your questions. Heh. But here we go!

For everyone that asked about how Charlie and I got together: go here.

For everyone that asked how Sarah and I met:  The first time I saw Sarah she was reading her poetry on stage at a club. She was tough and dramatic, and I liked her right away. A week or so later, I saw her again--this time working the door for another poetry reading. Our little poetry circles co-mingled at various times, although we weren't super close, but once we started partying together, we saw each other more often. Eventually Charlie and I asked her and E, her boyfriend (and her daughter's father) at the time, to share a house. We lived together for three years, but we were NOT friends, particularly. Sarah and E hated us, me in particular, for a variety of reasons I can't remember (probably related to my having too many pets and being a slob, or something like that). E finally moved out, and Sarah and I bonded over General Hospital and drugs.  She moved out to go into Rehab, had her daughter, and Charlie and I got sober a while later. The first year that we were all sober, we stayed friendly but distant. I'd asked Sarah to be in my wedding and she said no.  But as the wedding got closer, Sarah and her daughter agreed to be an unusual flowergirl/ring bearer combo. Over the next several years, with lots of hard work, our relationship has grown and deepened. We've known each other now for thirteen years.

For those that asked about MY wedding: Charlie and I decided to get married before we were sober. We tried, sort of, to make some wedding plans while still drunk and high, without much success. We carried it off at ten months sober. I wore a great big dress, and the bridesmaids were incredibly elegant in silver dresses. The guys wore tuxes. But the reception was potluck, with my friends DJing and providing the music (one of those friends was Nancy Falkow--she's so gifted. Buy her CD's, you won't be disappointed). It was great. I also got a parking ticket that day, which was hilarious.

For those that asked about tarot cards/etc readings: Yes, I have had them done. I got a "street level" psychic to read my cards once but she was just bilking me for money. I did have an acquaintance do it several times, and I thought she was crazy. She kept telling me over and over again that someone in my house was going to have a baby, and it wasn't until a couple of years later I realized she was talking about Sarah. And I'd thought she was just a flake.

Jen asked: Where would you go if you could travel anywhere (money no object)? When would you go if you could travel anyplace in time? And, who is your favorite Muppet?

New Zealand. America, pre-Columbus (I want to see the forests). Kermit, obviously. The Animal is a close second. Miss Piggy a distant third.

For those that asked what I will tell my kids about drugs/alcohol/addiction: Well, the truth. They are going to see us going to meetings, so they will grow up knowing that we need special help to not drink and use drugs. We'll also let them know about the fact that they will be genetically predisposed (assuming genetic offspring, of course), but we will also have to stand back and let them make their own choices. Will I freak out the first time they come home drunk? Maybe. But I won't send them to rehab the first time either.

Catherine asked: Favorite band/musician? Favorite album to listen to all the way through? Favorite song? Favorite song to sing/dance to? (Completely different question, of course.) Favorite writer? Favorite poet? Favorite trashy writer? (Again, completely different question.) Favorite movie? Favorite actor and actress? Favorite scene in a movie? 

Beatles. "Little Sparrow" Dolly Parton. "Precious Things" by Tori Amos.  "Get Your Freak On" Missy Elliot. Flannery O'Connor. Joy Harjo. Laurell K. Hamilton. "Love Actually". Clive Owen and Toni Collette. The scene where John Cusack holds the boom box in "Say Anything."

Sue asked: This time last year you were (poetry?) editor of a local literary magazine, how'd that turn out? White, milk or dark chocolate? Have you had any animals other than cats and dogs? What are you doing for Halloween? Will you dress up for work? Scare the neighbor kiddies?

I'm currently the editor of a local literary journal, and it's actually the only time I've been an editor, and I like it very much. Milk chocolate. Dogs and cats are about it.  I have no idea what I'll do for Halloween, but I'm looking forward to handing out candy to the kids.

TC asked what have I been reading lately: Well, I've been reading tons, but I just finished the "Protector of the Small" series by Tamora Pierce. I love young adult fiction, and these four books were really quite fun and cool. All about a young girl who becomes a knight. She kicks ass, and we know I love a girl who kicks ass.

Amy asked: What's the hardest part of being sober? The best? If you had it to do over again, would you change the drinking/drug years of your life, or do you consider those experiences to be part of what makes you who/what you are?

The best part of being sober is the fact that I wake up feeling good every day, and I don't have to immediately begin figuring out what I have to do to get me some. The hardest? Watching people die that don't get it. Honestly, it's not that hard to stay sober anymore. I don't know if I would change those years--a lot of great things happened during them, and yeah, they made me who I am--but a part of me wishes I'd gotten sober in high school and gotten my shit together sooner.

Sheri asked about my tattoos. I will have to post a whole entry just about them (I know, I know, I've been promising this for a while. I need to take photos, though, and I keep forgetting to do that, plus I don't have a digital camera!).

Comments

[MollieBee]

1.

Dude!

I think I've Tamora Pierce, maybe an earlier series. The main character was Alanna. There were 4 books in the series, they were great. I'll have to check out her other work.

[wavybrains]

2.

Hmm--A dollar a reader could buy a fairly decent digital camera, people. Who's up for a buy-a-camera for cecily for-coffee-change campaign? Cecily needs the distraction! :) (I'd buy you one my own self, but cash flow . . . . hence the power of collective good wishes!!).

[The Missus]

3.

Yours is one of the most honest blogs I have come across in a long time. I have high blood pressure now and I am scared to death of pre-eclampsia. I am trying my best to stay healthy and I hope that I can handle a pregnancy.

[Megan M.]

4.

Seconding MollieBee -- Tamora Pierce rocks. If you get a chance to hear her speak, I highly recommend it.

[Diatryma]

5.

Oh yeah, go see Tamora Pierce talk. She's hilarious in ways you never expect. I like the Wild Magic books best, or the Small, or the Circle books... eh, I'll read anything with her name on it. It's a good way to pass an afternoon.

[Becca]

6.

Cecily, Cecily, Cecily, "Love Actually" and milk chocolate? Tell me it isn't so!

[Melanie (Phila)]

7.

Ahhh!!!! I read Alanna as a kid & LOVED it. Last summer I found the whole series & read it. It was almost as good as I'd remembered. And ofcourse I thought I was the only one . . . How neat that you've read it, too.

Which leads me to a question: Have you seen there Harry Potter light?

[Nancy]

8.

Thanks for the shout out Cec...you know I dont think i realized you WERENT sober whenst planning that wedding...how the hell you did that i dont know? It was a really good time though....and I will always be honoured that you asked me to sing. Thanks for your years of support, and the good recent advice, I will probably need more at some point(hopefully) if you dont mind! My sister just loves your blog and I hear more about you through her daily, but I will check back more often.
Much love
Nance

[Journeywoman]

9.

I LOVE Laurell K. Hamilton...which of her series is your favorite? Anita Blake or Merry Gentry?

[Moxie]

10.

I'm so glad you're sober. There's a guy in my building who is dying from his alcoholism. He is the sweetest, funniest man, and I just wish he'd realized 10 years ago that he's worth too much to drink away his life. Your kid(s) will be lucky to have you as an example. And a mom, of course.

I'm shocked about "Love Actually." I would have peeged you as more of a "Groundhog Day" kind of woman.

[Moxie]

11.

I'm so glad you're sober. There's a guy in my building who is dying from his alcoholism. He is the sweetest, funniest man, and I just wish he'd realized 10 years ago that he's worth too much to drink away his life. Your kid(s) will be lucky to have you as an example. And a mom, of course.

I'm shocked about "Love Actually." I would have peeged you as more of a "Groundhog Day" kind of woman.

[jen]

12.

New Zealand is a fantastic choice. We spent nearly 4 weeks there for our honeymoon. I think it's the most beautiful place I have ever been and we are hoping to go back when we have saved up enough money.

If you want to see our pics, you can go here:

http://www.lambic.co.uk/nz/

That might pass some of the 2ww :)

[Anna]

13.

Nancy Falkow sang at your wedding?!?!? I am so jealous! ;-) I listen to WUMB (folk/eclectic radio from Boston) online and they play her stuff enough for me to recognize her style now.

I have a great quote from Flannery O'Conner for you, but it's downstairs so I'll get it to you later.

Happy waiting!

[Diana]

14.

I'm sitting at work right now with tears in my eyes...the story with you and Charlie has GOT to be one of the GREATEST love stories i've ever heard- just because it's not all flowers and kittens, it's honest, real life.
You two are very lucky to have eachother, you are both BEAUTIFUL people.
I can't wait to hear about the tattoos-

[Leggy]

15.

Cecily,
Why do you do this to me? I'm supposed to be working today and decide to a "quick break" to check a few blogs- 2 hours ago. What began as "let's see how Cecily & Charlie meet" turned into a peruse of your archives from 8/04-10/04.
Your writing just sucks me in- its heartbreaking and touching to read all your hopes/fears/dreams for the boys in hindsight. I have an even greater appreciation for how hard this past year has been for you and such a deep respect for the spiritual journey you've been on this year.
So now I must go back to trying to accomplish something today.

[Elizabeth]

16.

I love Tamora Pierce! The Lionness (Alanna) series is my favorite, although possibly just because I read it first. Robin McKinley is also very good . . . if you haven't read The Hero and the Crown it could help you pass the 2WW.

[MOT]

17.

Ahh, Tori Amos! One of my lady loves! I saw her in concert in Atlanta and was just stunned when she leaned over the edge of the stage so she could touch her fans and wecould touch her, not once, but about ten times during the concert. I *still* get a little choked up hearing Silent all these Years.

Recently, I read Waiting for Snow in Havana, by Carlos Eire. MAN, what an honest, scary, funny as hell book. I thought of you immediately. Cecily, you have been through so much, but are still a funny, smart, eager to do new things, and a vital, unbeaten person.

PUPO - did ya make that up!? Too clever...

Clare

[Annie]

18.

I am all over Tamora Pierce--was actually in the bookstore last night (where I slightly *ahem* overspent my budget) and saw that she and someone else just edited this anthology of young warriors. She's got an awesome short story in there, about the origins of the Shang Unicorn--an old friend of the Shang Dragon.

Okay, I'm kind of a dork, and will stop now.

[Ellen]

19.

Okay, this cracks me up completely, in an odd way. My sister just got back from spending three weeks in New Zealand (am so jealous) and she's rereading The Protector of the Small series, because she spent last weekend as a speaker and participant at The Witching Hour, a Harry Potter conference, where she got to meet Tamora Pierce and listen to her read (and also hear Charles DeLint and his wife play their own folk music, among other treats). She said Tamora was incredibly funny in person.
(Oh, and I second Elizabeth about Robin McKinley; I love The Hero and The Crown, but The Blue Sword is my very most favorite. Great book. Total girl power. )

[Sheri]

20.

I absolutely love the story of you and CHarile and how you met and ended up together. It would make an awesome book. In reading your archives, I guess I missed that entry.

Now... about those tattoos.....

[Monica]

21.

I always wonder, in a sort of sadistic way I guess, what it would be like to become an addict and then recover. Part of me, I think, is jealous that some people have those out-of-control experiences - and the stories and memories of crazy fun - it makes me feel boring. But, of course, I don't envy the pain of recovery.

[Blanche]

22.

That's so cool how you and Sarah became friends after hating each other. .. or her hating you I guess. and... you absolutely must get a digital camera! Not just to take pics of your tattttttoooos, either!

[jc]

23.

Oooooh, I haven't read Flannery O'Connor in ages! Am going to go dig through the bookpile tonight.

Tarot cards... I really want to believe, but it's pretty tough after one psychic told me I was a teacher, then argued with me when I assured her I was not, then the next one kept turning up fertility cards! Fertility!

[Kathleen]

24.

My question is...when do we get to see some pictures from your wedding??? No digital camera required, just scan the ones you have.

Please?

[Jess]

25.

AARRGGH!!! Somebody beat me to suggesting Robin McKinley! But really-- it's that good. Go read it now :)