The Furry Truth

So, have I told you all about my pets?

No? Are you sure? Actually, I’m sure, because I just scanned my whole blog to make sure I’m not repeating myself.

One of the side effects of being a vet tech is that you collect pets like most people collect CDs. As a result I have, currently, five cats and one very large dog. Since I haven’t worked in the veterinary field for over eight years now, all of my cats are very, very old.

Introducing one baby into a house full of pets is difficult; introducing two is a little scary. My husband frequently jokes about putting down the two males cats, for various reasons, and then we’d just have three cats and a dog. At least, I think he’s joking, although earlier in the year I had to ask him to stop making jokes about the wood chipper some workmen were using on our block (like, every time one of the cats did something annoying, he’s yell, “Wood chipper!”).

So let me tell you about my lovely pets. I’ll do it in age order.

Franklin (aka Frankie): If those stories about cats sucking the souls out of babies were true (and they are so not), Frankie would be their king. He’s the oldest, at 18, a brown tabby, and the oddest cat I’ve ever owned. In his younger days (you know, back when he was 15) he developed the amazing ability to urinate directly into electrical outlets, without electrocuting himself. The smell, as you can imagine, was just lovely. He also likes to sit directly behind your head while on the couch; and I’m absolutely convinced that he’s back there draining our life force so he can live forever. We recently took him in to the vet for old cat blood work, and he’s fine, with a minor hyperthyroid issue that doesn’t even really need to be medicated. Sadly, he’s gone deaf, and he seems fairly senile. He’s also become food obsessed, and will whack your hand with his paw repeatedly until you give him something (or spray him with a water bottle, which is what I have to do in order to finish my bowl of cereal every morning). Frank is the top candidate for offing, except that he persists in having nothing really wrong with him, so I just can’t do it.

Spot (aka Tootie): Spot is a striking cat, a clearly defined calico with white being her primarily color. She’s also a bitch. She has a chronic scowl, quite literally, that makes her look unbelievably pissed off, even in those rare moments where she’s purring and happy. She screams like you’re trying to hack off a leg any time you get within a few feet of her. When I rescued her from the streets, I had to scruff her with one hand and hold her back feet with the other (leaving me to have to push myself up from the ground with my head) just to get her into the house. We had to give her kitty Valium for weeks before we could let her out of seclusion to meet the other cats (and the dog). She’s mellowed in her old age (she’s about 14) and now sometimes lets me pet her when I’m watching TV. For much of her life, the only time you could pet her was when you were on the toilet (I guess she thought she was safer then).

Fifi (aka Feefers): She is our prettiest cat, with long gray hair and big pale green eyes. She’s also, oddly, mute—by choice. When I first got her, she was always getting locked in closets and dresser drawers (because she’d bury herself in the clothes in there) for a day at a time. We’d finally notice she was missing (hey, we were drunks, people!) and try to find her. We usually found her only after we got really quiet, and then we’d hear the sad sound of her declawed paws (yes, I declawed all my cats, and on most, even did the surgery myself) trying to claw her way out of the drawer or closet. She never meows to let us know she’s stuck. She occasionally squeaks when she yawns, and she always lets out a sad howl when Frankie tries to hump her (we think he’s got a third ball he hid during his neutering). But you can step on her tail (not on purpose!) and she’ll say not a word, just try to get away, and you’ll finally hear the sad scraping of her nails against the floor… She’s about 14.

Dylan (aka Dilly): Dylan is fat. He’s white with gray spots, and is too fat to groom his own back and ass so that he constantly gets mats on the back half of his body (and he’s short haired). He’s also very whiny, each meow sounding vaguely like an old lady complaining at the deli counter. He bites your feet, randomly, when he wants to be petted. If you stop petting him, he bites your hands. He broke his back once jumping off a dining room chair (yes, I’m quite serious) and now walks in a really funny way. He enjoys going out into the back yard and acting like a small whiny ghost. He was originally my best friend’s cat, but when she went into rehab all those years ago, she left him with us, and he’s been with us ever since. He’s my husband’s favorite whipping boy, and the cat most likely to be placed in a wood chipper.

Annie (aka Banana): Annie is our baby. I got her when she was two days old when a homeless guy came into the animal hospital claiming her mother had been hit by a car. He also brought in her sister, who sadly died within the hour. Annie was so determined to survive, however, that when I offered a syringe with formula in it, she sucked it down fiercely. We didn’t name her until she was four weeks old, afraid she wouldn’t survive (kittens who don’t get colostrums from their moms often die from something as mild as a cold), and then we named her after Lil’ Orphan Annie. Because she was bottle fed, instead of kneading and purring like a normal cat, she purrs and bites our fingers. Also because she was bottle fed, she’s oddly formed, with a tiny head too small for her body and huge eyes that are completely round. She hates everyone except my husband and me and the dog. She’s a yellow-brown tabby with weird orange spots and is also growing fat enough to compete with Dylan. She also doesn’t groom her own face, but thankfully allows me to pick her nose and eyes for her. She’s nine years old.

Hammer (aka Bubba): Hammer is the dog. About seven years ago, I instituted a rule that I couldn’t pick up stray animals any more unless they were injured. While driving to work one day, I saw Hammer. We’d just lost my dog Misty a few months before, and were looking forward to being dog free for a little while. But there Hammer was, scrounging behind a dumpster. I’d never seen a dog so emaciated. He was literally a fur-covered dog skeleton. I stopped my car, reluctantly, since most emaciated dogs are pretty feral, and you can cause them to run into traffic if you try to catch them. Oh, and because he was a pit bull, and I was in a bad neighborhood known for dog fighting. Hammer, however, came right to me when I called and offered him the only food I had, a tiny 2 oz piece of cheese (yeah, I was on a diet that day). I lifted his skeletal body into my car—it was awful, the thinness—and the cheese caused him to promptly start farting. I drove the rest of the way to work, stopping on the way at an SPCA to see if they’d take him. They took one look at him and said since he was a pit bull, they’d have to euthanize him right away (my state is one of the ones that won’t adopt pit bulls out of shelters). Hammer just sat in my back seat, looking at me with unadulterated love, so I knew I couldn’t leave him there. I called my husband (who I’d only just cured of a fear of dogs) and told him the deal. I stopped at work and convinced a man in the building to come out and meet the dog to make sure that Hammer didn’t hate men. Then I drove the poor guy down to my vet who told me that he would have surely died in another few days on the street (it was the coldest February we’d had in years). The vet gave me some bland food, and we took Hammer home and began to fatten him up. We planned, originally, to find him a home, but that changed within the week. Hammer gained five pounds a week, nearly doubling his weight at the end. He’s brindled, so he had a period between emaciation and his natural body weight when people thought he was a really big-headed boxer, but that passed as his chest just got wider and wider. Now he’s about 95 lbs, and the nicest, sweetest, calmest dog I’ve ever owned. He loves everyone, and my best friend’s 60lb daughter can take him for walks and he won’t even pull on the leash. He’s the best dog ever.

Now that you’ve met them all, you can see the dilemma we have about bringing in the babies. I know all the tricks—get dolls first and treat them like real babies to help them get used to the idea of something always being in our arms; select a few daily things that the pets would miss if they stopped and be sure to keep them in your daily routine if at all possible; never leave the babies and pets alone together, etc.

There are things I won’t consider, like getting rid of them. The animal shelters are full of pets that the owners couldn’t “deal with” once there were also children (and people who are moving into a place that doesn’t allow pets—tell me something—if you have pets, why the fuck would you move into a place that doesn’t allow them????). I truly believe it’s possible to have both babies and pets. My neighbors have a dog that is way more high-strung than Hammer, and he actually allowed their daughter to use his skin as a chew toy. I know it can work.

But it’s going to be a challenge. While I’m not after any assvice, I’d love to hear about some successes if you know of any. Please!

Comments

[Leslie]

1.

My sister had great luck with the crankiest claw your face off kind of a kitty I've ever known who let my niece carry her around and dress her up in baby clothes.

Here's my crazy pet count:

2 cats
3 dogs (including a recent rescue pit bull)

and I'm not even a vet tech...

2.

I have a rottweiler and a pitbull and three kids 5,3 and 1...and we live in harmony.... It can work!!! You already seem receptive. Good Luck

3.

We have 5 dogs and twin boys aged 4 as well as 2 teenage boys. One dog is a hyper 6 year old and the others are geriatric and moody but we are family. I couldn't imagine it any other way.

[MJ]

4.

I've always found that my animals seem to have a sense that its a baby, esp when they are very little and they treat my kids differently as a baby then they do as a toddler. Its like they have a sense that this little thing isnt out to hurt them just yet!

In fact our 80 lb giant dog, does not like the baby at all, he growls when the baby crawls near or touches him, but yet he has never, i repeat never snapped at him, he just gets up and moves to a diffeerent location.

We are currently housing a zoo,1 kitten, an indoor/outdoor cat, 2 cockatiels, a toad, bunch of fish, hermit crab and a beardog/black lab mix dog. And my husband still wants a reptile yet.

But that menagerie allows for the different likes that all of my children have.

[StacyG]

5.

I don't think you have ever told us you are a vet tech. I am currently a receptionist in a vet office and worked as a tech for 3 years while trying to gain my experience to get into vet school. Didn't happen but thats okay.

I loved reading about your 4 legged kids. I am sure the 2 legged one will fit right in.

Blessings,
Stacy

[Christina]

6.

I knew there was a reason I keep coming back here. We are too alike. I'm in recovery too (3.5 years baby), but I also worked as a veterinary tech/receptionist for 4 years before I had my little one. Isn't it funny that before working for a vet, people can live their lives with just one pet, but after working there for like 5 minutes you become an animal junkie? Too funny!

[SusieJ]

7.

We keep explaining to Kraftie, 12, mostly Russian blue, very cranky, that the baby will have opposable thumbs, and CAN OPEN THE CANS OF CAT FOOD. This is how she rates humans: when did you last feed me?

We've also mentioned to her that she will no longer be the stinkiest thing in the house once the baby comes. We expect to find the baby next to the cat box one day, and the cat next to the baby saying "Look, it's easy! Just poop in the box, then cover it over! You have THUMBS! This is easy for you!"

[cheryl b.]

8.

I had a lot of trouble with our cat because she wanted to nurse! I swear that it's true. Every time she saw me nursing Xavier she crawled up on him and tried to lick my nipple. Luckily her "Uncle Aaron" had been begging us to let her live with him (he was our roommate for 5 months and fell in love), so now she lives with him. I wish we had had a video camera then, I swear it was the funniest thing.

9.

I have two pugs. My first one, Rudy, was three when I was pregnant with my son. On a whim one day when I was seven months pregnant (I must of been really nesting) my husband and I went out to get another pug puppy, whom we named Chloe. The thinking was that they could keep each other company because our time would be more limited once the baby came. That plan worked, but boy was I stupid! It wasn't until Chloe was 1 that I didn't want to give her away every day. But, we are not people who could give away our pets, and I'm glad we stuck it out. Chloe and my son are buddies because they grew up together. Rudy, on the other hand, doesn't want anything to do with kids, or their toys, or their hands...you get my drift. She just removes herself from the room. They were both great when he was a baby though. In every picture we have they are sitting right by him like little protectors. All of the animals that we came into contact with seemed to sense that they had to be gentle around the baby. It was amazing to watch. Good luck!

[Darla]

10.

We had 2 Rottweilers when our daughter was born. (We still have one of them.) Neither one had a problem with her. In fact, the male was her protector. When we would walk, anytime someone came up to look at the baby, he would stand between the stroller and the person. He would even snap at and/or growl at my husband if he though he was playing to rough with our daughter. He was very, very protective of her. She is almost 6 now, and the dog we still have loves her to death. They cuddle under the blanket to watch tv together.

[Stacey]

11.

11 cats

1 dog

They've all done beautifully with the baby.

The dog protects her from the cats, and the cats don't give a rats ass about her.

The second I brought her home in the carseat, the dog plunked right down beside her, gave her a lick, and that was that. She has a purpose now. ;)

[peach_linen]

12.

My sister had two cats and a HUGE chocolate lab with a whip for a tail whe her daughter was born. It turned out the cats were inifferent to the baby, but the dog *adored* her! And, of course, Izzie being the precocious child she is, immediately wrapped him around her little finger and now the dog is her slave. So it can definitely work.

Also, my parents got a dog nine months after I was born and she and I were best friends for more than 16 years. And it fostered a love of pets in me that I ahve to this day. Pets are a good thing for babies and kids!

[Ellen]

13.

Oh, keep them all. It'll be fine. Listen, if Terry Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter's wife, could keep wrestling alligators until she was eight months pregnant, then keeping a few beloved animals seems perfectly reasonable.

Plus, it's really good for kids to grow up around animals, if only for the anti-allergy benefits alone!

[Christine]

14.

We have four dogs and four cats. And, typical for every vet I know who gets their animals when some jackass comes in for euthanasia because the dog no longer matches their decor, they're not the best behaved.

One of my dogs requires a lot of attention, but she's always been good around kids in our house (Kids = Food). The only time I've seen her bristle is when an adult is doing something stupid, i.e. when a guest decided to pull the pig's ear OUT OF HER MOUTH. Quite honestly, I was hoping she would bite him; he had it coming.

I'm planning on doing all the same things you are. Also, I'm going to get one of those canopies for the crib, at least until I am sure the cats will stay out of it.

[jc]

15.

My best friend has 3 kids, a rottweiler, 3 or 4 cats, a couple rabbits, and a hamster...oh, and some horses. The cats just leave the room when they've had enough of kids and the rottie lets them climb all over her, although she did have to be taught not to wash their faces. The horses are even careful with the kids. There is one cat that is getting old and cranky, but the children have learned that a kitty growl means go away. The kids have learned valuable lessons about responsibility and kindness and I am sure will be better people for having animals in their lives. Keep all your critters!

[Tammy]

16.

Okay, first off, I think your Franklin and my cat, Puck, were separated at birth. And second, your story about Hammer made me cry! At work! Now I have to bend my head way over my keyboard so no one sees me.

You'll make it work. If such a motley collection of critters can live in relative harmony, adding two more will work, too.

[Moxie]

17.

We have a cranky 15-year-old cat (with major hyperthyroid) who was completely hurt when El Chico was born. We have pictures from the early days of me lying on the couch holding El Chico, and the cat is wedged on top of me, with her head as close to my head as possible, giving El Chico a look like, "Ha! My head is closer to her head than yours is! I win."

She also went through a phase of going into the bedroom while he was napping and meowing loudly in his ear until he woke up, then trotting into the living room and giving me an innocent, concerned look that said, "You'd better go get that hairless two-legged freak you've saddled us with--he's crying!" I kept telling her that a) I heard her waking him up through the monitor, and b) he was going to get her back once he could move, but she wouldn't listen.

Which leads me to my real point. I think that the biggest problem you're going to have is in about 2 years when the boys want to grab and pick up and poke the cats. You have to stay on top of toddlers (especially young toddlers) all the freaking time to keep them away from cats, and it makes you want to rip your eyeballs out. El Chico still can't quite comprehend that the cat doesn't love it when he picks up her scrawny ass and hefts her around the room. But he does love her, and he can feed her "all by himself" once I open the can (he even puts the dirty spoon in the sink when he's done). And she's mostly OK with him now, although I think she wouldn't be upset if he never came back from the playground. Too bad she won't live to see him go off to college.

I think they're all going to go through an adjustment phase, but will come out of it fine. I feel sorry for people who don't understand that it's the newborn that's overwhelming to the household, not the pets, so they get rid of the pets instead of just riding it out.

Oh, I was also told that if a pet is having a really hard time of it you can put a little Rescue Remedy in their water and that will help them get through it better. Helped our cat in the early days.

[DMouse007]

18.

Your pets sound great and they will be fine with the babies - they will just need time to accept the change.

Your Frankie sounds like my Charlie in 10 years, except Charlie is the one with the healed broken backlegs/pelvis. My Frankie (short for Frankenstein) is also mute by choice but is the sweetest boy ever.

I have three others (all bonkers in their own sweet way - one is currently removing my books from the shelf one by one), and they have learnt to adjust to small children and their antics.

[Tammy]

19.

1 dog
1 cat
3 kids
3 guinea pigs
2 fish

it works.

[MOT]

20.

We are odd people, my DH and I.

we have 2 cats, 2 VWs, 2 computers, each have 2 pairs of glasses and, of course, we have 2 babies.

The twins, one year old on Friday!, both love the cats and crawl/chase them around and pull on their fur and tails. Neither cat has *ever* scratched either baby, but if I pulled on their fur like that I'd be scratched, pronto.

My white cat, Shed, who I found in the woodshed, was about 10 days old at the time. I bottle fed him and he's just gorgeous. He has a racoon tail on a white body and a golden eye (he lost one when I rescued him due to an infection)

My black cat, Worf, came from the vet with the name already attached. When we took Shed to pick out a kitten to keep him company he growled at two other kittens before they brought out Worf. Worf was the type to sit IN the food dish to eat, so he was covered with kibble crumbs. Shed thought - Yummy! and gave him a bath. Worf thought - he likes me! and the rest his history.

Multiple cats and twins go together - each has their own species to keep it company.

[cherylc]

21.

When my daughter was born we had three cats and two dogs. We got the younger dog when I was 8 weeks pregnant because we were insane. I think on some level I thought I would have something to take care of if I miscarried. She was Sharpei and Rottweiller, very alpha, and it became apparent over the course of a year, that we couldn't handle her. She ate couches, she peed everywhere defiantly, she bit, she escaped and ran and scared us to death that she'd bite a stranger. After she bit my husband so badly that he's permanently scarred, we gave her to a rehabilitation shelter. A bite like that on our daugther would have been devastating. It was awful. We loved her so much, and she would not train! I hope she found a very firm owner with tons of time. So, sometimes it doesn't work out.

But our other dog and the three cats were fine. Even our two oldest cats, who were seriously bad ass, did fine. (All the cats have died of old age in the three years since our daughter was born.) Your dog and cats will probably be fine too, especially your dog, who sounds lovely.

[Mandy]

22.

I'm sure it has/will work out fine. My boyfriend and I have 2 pit bulls,he has a 7 year old Daughter and we have a baby on the way. our parents want us to get rid of the dogs but i honestly trust my dogs around kids more than i would any human. Jack our male pit and Sisy our female pit are just babys themselfs. I seriously dont think they know that they are dogs. Sissy is more protective over kids than jack, shes the kind that would bite an adult for even pretending to smack a kid, shes really gentle and loves to play with the kids,now when the kids arent around shes on the go 24 /7 and is very active.Jack on the other hand just lays around all day everyday, and hed rather just sit back and watch the kids and sissy play then join in, however he doesnt act at all agressive towards anyone.